by
Urac Sigma and Leila
Fetter
Part VIII, Word Count: 1400
The story so far: When she saw an academic future not as bright as she’d hoped, Stephanie decided that a bit of quiet social drinking in moderation might help her relax. Seventeen hours later, she doesn’t remember how she ended up in police custody...
This
month, Leila Fetter makes a guest appearance as co-writer of the latest
installment of Stephanie
I’m
almost over my hangover.
Almost.
I
try not to look at the grease that’s falling off Dizzy’s chicken as I think
I might end up being sick on it. I’m very far gone, as looking at Annika’s
sushi doesn’t make me feel much better.
See,
this is a fairly liberal use of the word ‘almost’. In this use, if I got out
of bed and had to walk south to get across the hall to the bathroom I’d say I
was almost in Melbourne.
Oh,
let me keep my optimism, there isn’t much of it left.
I
try to glare at Annika, but the effort of deliberate facial expression sends a
wave of pain right through me. Just manage to keep my stomach stable, though.
‘Have
you told your dad yet?’ asks Mario, pulling my gaze off the blonde. I like
Mario better than the others right now because he’s not eating things that
disturb me. I think he might be breathing a bit hard, though.
Cringe.
Yeah, telling my dad that I’m taking to shirts with arrows on and bread and
water, that was fun. ‘Yeah. Kinda. I
managed to pass him off with saying that it was mostly because of some huge
misunderstanding…still don’t think he’s thrilled, but.’
‘A
“misunderstanding”?’ squawks Annika. I think that’s what she said. Her
mouth was blocked with a California roll when she did it.
‘Yeah,
I’d say you could call it a misunderstanding.’ That’s right, I was trying
to glare at her, wasn’t I? ‘Considering I don’t understand
it, because I don’t know what happened.’
‘How
can you not know? You were there.’
‘Yeah,
I know I was there. That lady with the blue suit and the stripes on her arm told
me. I had to take her word for it, though. I really
had too much of that cider.’
‘Cider?
Cider? Fuck, Steph, I reckon if
you’d stuck to the cider you’d have been all right. No, it was all that
other stuff after the cider that did you in.’
‘Do
you mind? I’m trying to stay in denial here.’
‘No,
we got bored of the cider very fast.’
I
nod, blurry pictures playing in the cineplex in my head. ‘Yeah…but the pub
didn’t have…something or other, so we went into Civic.’
Annika
nods back. ‘Civic. Where they have loads more bars. And the drinks come in all
these pretty colours…’
Ow.
Ow ow ow. I know about drinking to forget, but I didn’t realise it only has
the effect of making you forget the drinking. ‘I found something raspberry-flavoured,
didn’t I?’
Annika
goes straight on. ‘Then a screwdriver. Then we found some champagne cocktails.
Then you noticed that you’d just had something red, then something orange,
then yellow…’
I
let my head slump down onto the table. Ah,
crap. I forgot that that would hurt. ‘You’re going to say “rainbow”
soon, aren’t you?’
Annika
must have been filling the others in before I got here. ‘Yeah, well done,’
says Dizzy. ‘You made it, too, I hear.’
‘Erhh…’
Dizzy
pats me on the back, which doesn’t do much for my condition. ‘Roy G Biv,’
she confirms.
Annika
butts in. ‘But we couldn’t find anything indigo, so you just had another
blue lagoon and put some Coke in it.’
‘Erhh…’
I say again. This time Dizzy joins me. Don’t know what she’s on about. She
didn’t have to drink it. ‘Now that
I’ve officially sworn off drinking forever—’
I
haven’t lifted my head yet, but I can hear Dizzy and Mario whispering. ‘Give
it two weeks.’
‘Three.’
‘Five
bucks?’
‘You’re
on.’
‘I
can hear—ow, don’t talk loud. I remember…’ I straighten up and look
to Annika. ‘The “Stephanie went home in the back of a divvy van” part.’
‘Oh.
Right. Well, you were really pissed at this point. And I was kinda tipsy myself.
Anyway, I’d just come back from getting a couple of…’ (I shoot her a weary
‘spare me’ look.) ‘…mineral waters. And a couple of chicks were hanging
around our table, and you were really…well…screaming at each other. Well,
especially you and one of them.’
Nope.
No blurry picture this time. Not even a still. ‘Could you tell why?’
‘Because
you were drunk and angry?’
‘Behavioural
Psychiatrist, you are.’
‘Anyway,
I manage to settle you back down, and the other girls decide they’ve had
enough and go. We’re right near the door, so that’s not far. Then just as
they’re getting out, that chick says…something.’
‘Something?
What kind of something?’
‘You
must’ve heard it, but I didn’t. We were
in a pretty loud bar, and I was thinking of going back over to the ADFA guy
I’d been flirting with at the bar, because—’
‘What
happened?’ I press her.
‘The
ADFA guy? Well, his name was Chip and he looked,
I mean…you know, but really, he was
all—’
Mario
puts a hand on her arm before I can think of something to call her. ‘I think
she means what happened with her and the other girl.’
‘Oh!
That. Yeah, well, whatever she said, it was just the last straw for you, Miss
Cadbury’s. They got about three feet out the door, then…’ She shrugs.
‘…it’s all on! Scrag attack from Stephanie.’
I
think I can suss out the rest. ‘And this is where the cops show up, right?’
‘Pretty
much.’
They’re
all looking at me now, and I realise that it’s my turn to pick up the story.
‘I woke up this morning with the mother of all hangovers. I think that mother
had a few baby hangovers right there and then, for that matter. This sergeant
comes to get me…hey, get this, I looked at her name tag: Her name was Rachel
Talalay.’
Annika
looks at me, waiting for the punchline.
‘Like
the film director?’ I prompt.
Annika
looks at me more, waiting for a punchline that makes sense to her. ‘Um…what
did she direct?’
I
haven’t chosen my audience well. What would she recognise? ‘Tank Girl.’
‘Oh.’
Annika leaves another big pause of non-recognition. ‘Did she direct any
non-lesbian movies?’
‘Whatever,
go back to sleep. Dizzy knows who I’m talking about.’ This would be less
embarrassing if I hadn’t said the same thing to Sergeant Talalay. And got much the same response. ‘Anyway,
I’m only barely in any kind of state to work out what language this woman’s
speaking, let alone what she’s saying. She tells me off for assaulting “Miss
Robinson”, and that I’m probably lucky that she didn’t want to press
charges.’
‘Who’s
Miss Robinson?’ asks Mario. Dizzy swats him into comprehension. ‘Oh.
Right.’
I
roll my eyes. Not hard, because they’re already trying to do that without my
say-so. ‘Yeah. They basically put me in the lock-up overnight to cool
off…after which I took a bus home, got cleaned up, came to meet you guys and
the only reason I’m not worried about my moped being stolen is because it’s
a heap of shit.’
There’s
a bit of a pause. ‘Woo…’ Dizzy says at last. ‘So you’re a hardened
criminal now?’
‘I’m
not hardened. I’m not even firmish.’
‘You’re
a squishy criminal?’
I
wince. My stomach feels kinda squishy, actually. I’m beginning to think of
just going and purging it and being done with it. ‘I’m not even a criminal,
actually. Didn’t get charged, remember?’
Annika
and Dizzy have finished their food, so we get up to leave. Annika wants to go
hunting for a new top – I guess the one she has on doesn’t look like it was
painted on with thin enough paint. We set off at a brisk pace for about two
seconds, then I slip back to what I’m really capable of right now.
‘That
was pretty lucky, I suppose,’ says Annika.
‘Hrm?’
‘About
the charges thing.’
‘Yeah…I
so don’t need that on my plate right now.’
‘I
guess Jacinta just couldn’t be bothered.’
I
stop dead. I grab Annika’s arm. ‘What was that?’
‘She
couldn’t be bothered. Or she felt sorry for you, I guess.’
‘No,
stuff that bit. What did you call her?’
‘Jacinta.
That’s what her friend kept calling her. That’s what she said to that cop.
Tell you what, that younger cop that came by was a bit of…’
I
ignore her (I know what she’s probably saying anyway). Sgt Talalay hadn’t
told me the other chick’s first name.
Jacinta
Robinson.
Put
both names together and I do know her.
And I know what that was all about.
And it’s not pretty.
Continued…
© Urac
Daria Sigma & Leila Fetter 2000
