Children from Separated Families

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I am 18 years old and my parents split one year ago. It started 6 years ago, my Mum wanted my Dad to mentally stimulate her. But Dad is an actions man. He can buy roses but he can't say the words. 

So after 20 years of marriage, they broke up last year. Mum had gone on a holiday, to Germany (where she is from) with my older sister, while I was doing Year 12. Dad paid for it the whole holiday and spending money. He was always giving but it wasn't enough for Mum. Its not what she was looking for. When she was over there she told Dad she had met someone. So after a month Mum and my sister came back, but two weeks later they where moving...to Germany. I was so confused. 

I had a boyfriend at the time, and am still with him. So I stayed at his house while everything went down. I didn't want to hear my Mum ask me if what she was doing is right, it was her decision. And I also couldn't be there for my Dad, I was hurting too much. And to see their pain just made me hurt even more. I just passed Year 12, I was suspended during the year. I practically moved into my boyfriends parents' house, as I could not face going home. Mum's presence not being there anymore was painful. 

My Dad moved on and has found a beautiful girl-friend which I get along with. Mum is still with her boy-friend. My parents now are going through a horrible separation. Mum wants money from Dad. But because Mum is on the other side of the world, I only hear Dad's side of the story. So I have just kept out of it. I miss my Mum so much, tears stream down my face when I think about her. I do miss having a family to go home to. I no longer call my house home. I don't really have a home. I feel a bit angry towards my mum, for leaving me. But I know that both of them are happy. But am I? 

I try to go to the house and spend time with my Dad. But his girlfriend and him are so in love, I just don't want to intrude. I try to keep in contact with Mum. But the relationship is fading. When we speak over the phone, I have nothing to say, every thing just doesn't seem relevant. Or maybe it's just too hard to explain, when if she was in my life she could have a better
understanding. I want her to move back to Australia. At least I could take a weekend of every three months and visit her. Instead of every three years going to Germany.

I try to be strong and get on with my own life. But I am so insecure. If I didn't have my boyfriend I don't know if I would still be existing. My friends are there but not all the time. I feel really alone sometimes. I hate being alone. I will continue on with my life and try to plant my feet in the ground, by getting a house etc. It's just I have had to grow up so quickly. Deal with my own money. My health problems. Cook my own meals. It was like, one minute I lived in a family that was so relaxed and loving. Next minute I had to grow up and couldn't turn to anyone for help. Its so hard to ask someone for guidance. I still haven't to this day. Mainly cause
my Mum and Sister were always there for me but I cant talk to mum about the situation because she starts to talk bad about Dad. 

I feel very sorry for kids/teenagers that have to go through this. People always forget about their children. They think they know what they are doing. But in my situation. I had to go along with everything that has happened. Not once has either of them asked if I am ok throughout this whole thing. There is no way I want them back together. I just want to back together with them.

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My parents separated in February of 2001.  My mother moved in with her sister.  It's October now and she still doesn't have a place to call her own. It is so hard for me to live without my mother, she was my best friend.  I love my dad, but my dad and I don't have the same kind relationship that my mother and I do.  We used to talk to one another everyday.  Now I'm lucky if I get to talk to her every other day.  I know that it's not my fault they split, they were having lots of problems.  I guess after twenty years of marriage you tend to run into a few problems.

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My dad left my mother when I was 14. My little brother was 10. It was very hard but somehow we got through it. I am 18 now [and] more mature but I am still very upset at him and I try to forgive him but I just can't. 

To all the children who lost their father by him leaving your mom,  understand it is not your fault and some day you get through it . I myself went through a lot during their divorce. I didn't go to school, I would cut school with my friends and we got into a lot of problems. Sometimes I would come home like at 8:00 in the evening and leave again at 6:00am just for me not to be at that house. Until one day I went to church and I felt at home, so I begun to pray and believe it or not I heard the lord say that "The pain I felt inside give it to him and to believe that he will take it away and to always know that I have a father which is him and that he  will always be there for me". 

Now a days I am always at church, I Teach Sunday school, I go to college to study teaching (primary). If you are going through the same thing I was going through believe in yourself and instead of cutting school and not coming home, getting into problems just try to become a better person because of it and make your mom or who ever you live with proud.

Always believe that someone loves you.

age 18

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I moved out of my home 2 years ago and have been living with my boyfriend since.  When I first moved out I had a lot of issues dealing with separation of my family because my family is a very close tight-knit family.  When my parents announced that they were separating last March, it put a big strain on me because I felt very isolated from everything that everyone else was going through and because I wasn't living at home I missed all of my sisters and my brother.  

Being the oldest girl in a family of 5 children, all the rest of my sisters look up to me and it tears me apart to see them struggling and have me not there to be another shoulder for them to cry on, and I am having a hard time noticing the changes in my parents and actually having to recognize them as people and not so much as my parents, although that I know will be a very long process.  

Occasionally I get the chance to go home for the weekend to see them, and there is never enough time, so I always feel so emotionally charged the whole time I am there, and then when it is time for me to return home, it's like I have to rip my heart away just so I can leave.  I have started to look into literature about the subject, but I haven't really found a lot about my particular situation.....I have found a lot on children age 3 to 7 coping with divorce, but nothing so far on people in my age group [23], which is what I'm really interested in.

age 23

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The outfall of the divorce is that I have problems with intimacy and with commitment.  I tend to get emotionally intimate too fast with people, over-trusting.  Then I pull away, and I don't even trust myself.  I'm always wanting to get married so soon, but then find that I'm the one who always leaves.  I don't really know how to fix these problems but can't.  I also have problems letting go of people even when they're not good for me.  I run things around in circles in my mind all the time.  I don't really know what to do about it. 

age 28

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Yes, I would like to say that my parents recently got divorced and I am having quite a bit of trouble. I have stopped eating and my daddy wants me to come live with him but he his job requires that he moves to California. He wants me to move with him and i have a better relationship with him; however, i do not think i could leave my mom and my friends.

age 17

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My parents separated when I was five, and divorced when I was seven.  My mom quickly started dating someone who moved in shortly there after.  I suspect this is related to financial troubles.  However, he is an alcoholic, Vietnam vet.  Needless to say not the most optimal home life growing up.  

My dad moved around the country, never bothering to ask for custody.  I did get a pretty cool step brother out of the mix.  He was only three weeks older than me.  He, my sister, and I had the best times growing up together.  As long as we avoided the step-father.  My dad remarried, divorced, and remarried again.  He lives five minutes away from me and my sister yet I hardly see him.

age 18

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I think that children that are brought up in broken home don't always turn out to be problem children. I am from a broken home and I an doing just find. Right now I am a college freshman at Southwest Texas State University majoring in Education.

ge 18

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My parents divorced because he was cheating on my mother with my step mother. I didn't really understand at the time, i'm used to it now. I think that my stepmother and stepsister are okay.

age 16

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I was only 1.5 years old when my parents were divorced.  My mom moved away to [another state] which is 8 hours away from here.  She is now a homosexual and she only calls me when she wants to.  We don't have a mother daughter relationship but I live with my dad and stepmom.  I also have two step siblings that are 10 and 13 years younger than I am.  I love my life but my divorced family problems sometimes get in the way.

age 14

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My parents split up 10 years ago when I was 10 years old.  I have kept my feelings about this issue bottled up for the past 10 years.  I threw myself into school, work, and always pretended that I wasn't upset.  The truth is, I made myself too busy to feel the pain - I felt I was "moving on with my life."  

Only now that I'm in my second year of university (as a full-time student) and I quit 2 of my 3 jobs - I feel like I've stopped running.  I realized in having to make a decision about a major and potential career that I don't know very much about myself emotionally because I have numbed myself to feelings.  It's tough because I'm expected to act like an adult when I feel that now is when I need support the most.  I feel like parts of me have grown up too quickly while other parts are still so young.  

I know I will be able to live and support myself but I feel like something is missing - the emotional connection with my father, a first male relationship.  I am finding it difficult to trust males - I always felt they will leave so I never allowed people to get close to me.  Now I've learned that you must learn to let things go and if you stop and pay attention to what you hear inside yourself, ultimately you know what's best for yourself.  I'm so proud of myself because I've started opening up and talking about how I feel and I'm trying to come to terms with the effect the divorce had on my life and how I can successfully deal with my emotions, learn something from the experience and move on with my life.  My mother has always been there for me and I don't know what I would have done without her but there is no replacement to a  father daughter relationship. 

age 20

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MY MOM AND DAD FIGHT A LOT AND THEY GET ALONG SOMETIMES

age 12

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My real father is an #đ

anyone have any suggestions of what i can do? i don't know. i want to know why he did what he did, but i don't want to speak to him and i also want to make him suffer. BADLY. i have, and i didn't even provoke it (i was 2, how could i?)

age 17

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The divorce didn't effect me when I was younger but it effects me know. I have problems building relationships with the opposite sex. I have problems trusting people. I was very promiscuous in my teenage years because I was looking for the affections of a male figure because my dad didn't know how to be emotionally supportive. From the time I was ten and on I was always with my brother because my mom had to work. She doesn't believe me now but I played mom for a lot of years. Divorce sucks but I'm glad that my parents did because I am so close with my mom and my step mother. My dad isn't married to my stepmother any more but we are extremely close. I know this story is short and I could give more detail but this is the small version of my life with divorce.

Fathers, call your children every other day, don't think that a vacation to the mountains is time well spent. Eat breakfast with them when they stay with you, don't by the gifts for no reason, children see right through that. those are guilty gifts. and for Mothers and Fathers DO NOT TALK BAD ABOUT ONE ANOTHER TO YOUR CHILDREN YOU ARE KILLING THEIR SPIRIT BY DOING SO. They take it personally!!!!!!!!!!!

age 22

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Hello! My story is that my parents divorced almost 17 years ago.  And it's was hard for me.  I saw my dad on weekends but not always he came.  He wasn't there for me when I needed him the most, but anyways I love him and miss him very much.  My mom divorce him because was drunk most of the time and had another women.  It was hard.  I lived most of my life without a father.  My mom never remarried.  Now I didn't see my father almost for 3 years, since we moved to United States, before we live in Ukraine where my dad still live.  I never wrote to him and he don't know my address.  My parents both made biggest mistake in their lives to marry each other.  My brother who older than me with mental problems (he was born like that).  My mom is christian and my dad never was.  So for their mistakes we are paying.

age 18

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When my mum and dad split up I was only little but as I gradually grew up i had this thing about my father. my mum had a new boyfriend by this time and I use to treat him like rubbish. I don't live with my brother and about 2 months ago i went up to see him and my dad, but found out that they moved. I met with my dad's ex girlfriend and she told me all this stuff that my dad had said about me and my sisters. I then only realized that he was not worth all the pain and suffering i put my new father through. I'm sorry dad.

age18

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My parents are about to get a divorce and it is the worst thing that has ever happened to me! HELP! Any children out there that's parets are still together, love them. I will have 5 grandparents if they divorce and re-marry! This is horrible. I never thought it would happen to me. I thought it just happened to poor families, alcoholic families, or tv families. My parents have been married 18 years, and I still love them both. Like they said, divorce is for the parents happiness, not the childrens. :(

I love my parents

age 13

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For sixteen years this May I have been living with my mom and step father. Yah they treat me alright but I have no space or privacy or freedom. I am currently living with my mother still but there has been some friction between us. My older sister moved to my dad's house when she was 15 and this was also the time when my dad was going through a very bad break up and my sister feared for my fathers well being and health. He is currently going out with a women that is 12 years younger than him. She doesn't get along well with me or my sister and she is always drinking her self to the point that she cant function. I've wanted to move in with my father for so long, but there are only 2 things stopping me...My mother and hurting her feelings and my father's girlfriend.

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I don't care what anyone says, a divorce can have depremental affects on children. I've been there and I am most more than likely to go thought it again. I was 11 months when My mum and dad divorced. Mum remarried and I now have a brother and parents who seem to be constantly at each other's throats and Dad has now threatened mum with a divorce. It really shocked me to find out that mum had divorced my father when I was 11 months old. I was angry, upset and 10 years old when she told me. However, it was never kept a secrete. I love my mum but as for my father, well he can burn in hell for all I care. He's made no effort to keep in touch with me nor has he supported me financially. Don't do this to your kids. It's not only depremental on them but also on your relationship with them. I am fighting like mad to keep another marriage together now to stop my brother from going through what I went through.

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My parents broke up just as i started high school. It was the one thing that i dreaded my whole childhood life. "What if my parents broke up? Who would i live with?" I never thought that it would ever happen to me. When it did it was the worst part of my life. My parents always use to fight and the only reason why they stayed together was because of my brother and I. My father moved out and moved away. Not far or anything, but far enough for me. I saw my father every weekend but my parents were always stressed and not the best to be around with. 1-2 years later my mum moved away to Melbourne for 6 months. We moved in with my dad who at this time now had a girlfriend who had 3 kids of her own. It felt rather uncomfortable but i really didn't have much choice. My mum and i have always been really close and when she returned we were distant. Now my mum and i get along real well and my brother moved back with my mum. I'm still living with my dad but considering moving back with my mum. My dad and i fight constantly over things that he doesn't seem as important but are to me. Things like spending time together, but he'd rather spend time with his fiancÚ. Don't get me wrong, i thing that my dads fiancÚ is nice, but it feels like me and my dad are growing apart. My dad has a lot of concerns about money and that is what most of our fight are about. My experiences with divorce and relationships have scarred me for life. Now i am to scared to get involved or have feelings for pretty much any1.

Scarred for life.

Don't get mixed up with fights between parents because you get it back the worse!!

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I sometimes think my mom only wants me around to spite my dad. I don't feel like I am wanted at all. I love both my parents unconditionally. I don't feel close to either of them, I wish I could. Their divorce completely changed my life. I know this was supposed to happen, there is no way to change the past so I just deal with it.

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This is to all the parents who say that they do not contact their children as often as they should because it hurts too much. Let me tell you that as a child of divorced parents, every time my father called to say hello, everytime he called to say "I'm thinking about you", everytime he called to say "I love you", it meant the world to me. As I grew older, I found out that these phone calls left my father crying for hours, but he loved me enough to put himself second and me first. He knew how much I needed to hear his voice and that he was thinking of me. I was on cloud nine after each of those phone calls - I truly knew that both my parents loved me.

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My parents separated 2 years ago in October. The day I found out it was like someone stabbing me in the heart. The year they separated happened to be my first year of university, so I was not home that often, just for breaks, which I think helped a lot. When I was away at school, my parents would call me all the time, and each one would have a different story as to what was going on, this led to deciding who to believe and whether you would take sides or not. Taking sides does not get a child anywhere, it is better to stay neutral, but in my situation that did not happen. This has been crazy, and it gets worse with time. My parents constantly fight, and it always seem to be something about me. Parents should leave their children out of the arguements and fights they have, unless it is necessary to involve them. It has been two years so far, and nothing has gotten easier. My dad moved in with another woman, which then makes it twice as hard to go visit, and he feels you should go there and visit with the other woman in the house. Well that does not happen and parent's shouldn't force their children to do anything, when the time is right and the child feels comfortable with stuff it will happen, until then support your child, and remember they are hurting too. Even though I hurt my dad by not going to see him with his other woman there, he has to understand that it sucks for me to see him with someone else besides my mother. Living in a family that goes through divorce sucks, and parents should try to go on with life, and make the best of it for everyone. If not they will end up losing their children too! There are my thoughts on divorce, and also I know for a fact that because of what my parents went through I will never let myself get married, because I would not want to do what my parents did to myself and my brother to anyone.

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Well my parents got divorced when i was two, so i dont really remember the whole spliting up part. I've been bounced back and forth ever since then, usually at dads everyother weekend. But i can remember when my parents would fight over child support or who got us on the holidays. That was when i got mad at them and thought they didnt care about me and my sister and that they only cared about money. But after a while things got better my sister (who is three years older than me)and i would decide when we wanted to go to dads house and for how long. Dad lives 45 minutes away so when we stayed, we usually stayed for a few days. Then when i was 8 my mom got remarried to another guy, who i totally hated. He came in to our house acting like he owned the place, he told us what to do and how. He wanted us to call him dad, but we refused, because we knew and loved our own dad. He wanted to move, so we moved to a new town, new school and everything, and that was a really hard thing to do, because i was already in the 3rd grade. But life went on for the next few years mom and the guy had two kids a boy and a girl, ages 6&7 now. Mom is in the process of divorcing him, which is something that really needed to be done. So now im going through another divore and i know how hard it is. But im 15 now and i think my parents have both done a great job on rasing me. People ask me if i wish my parents were still together and i always say i dont know. Because this is how im used to living and if a divore made my mom happy, then i guess a divore was met to be. But i want to thank my older sister for always being there, when our step dad made us mad we would just go to our room and cry together. she has really helped me be the person i am today. And to everyone out there who is in a divore....... good luck.. and keep youre head up never think its the end bc its not.....everything will work out somehow bye

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When i was a little kid my parents broke up and my mom got remarried to a guy named A. who I am so scared to talk around . What should I do.I am even scared to say his name

Note: Suggest you call kid's help line. You didn't include an email address, so I can't contact you to answer your question. All the best. Lucky you live with your Dad J. Resolve

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My mum wants my dad back. she goes crazy sometimes and i get scared. last week she came over to my dad's place and threw stuff around cause dad's girlfriend had been staying. she reckons she is going to do something to herself or move away and take us with her so dad won't be able to see us except ever second weekend. i feel like i have to look after her. i don't want her to hurt herself. she is living with another women and they fight all the time. she gets upset when my sister and i go out with dad and his girldfriend. i don't want to go now. i live with my dad 4 nights and go to mum's the other 3. it would be ok except for the fights. dad tries to stay cool but when she wrecks things he gets mad. he does'nt fight of hit or anything like that. mum's the one who gets violent. the other night when i was by myself and she came over to dad's and started threwing stuff around i was really frightened. i called dad and he and my sister came home.i just want it all to stop, i can't fix things up and she keeps telling me about how she and dad could get back together and everthing will be ok. but dad doesn't want to. i'm just akid i can't look after her and i feel bad all the time. like its my fault and i should make things better.

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Well, My parents got a divorce when I was only one year old, I've never actually met my father. I've heard many stories about him, most of them which were bad. My father was an abusive alcoholic, and most of you that are reading this probably think that, thats just what my mom has told me, but I've known anything else. When I was younger my mom would get my sister and I to write my father letters and draw him pictures, but he never sent any kind of response back. He never seemed to want anything to do with my sister and I. That really hurts, growing up with no father and knowing that he wants nothing to do with you. I was young but I knew how it felt to be unwanted. Well, my mom met a man ... when I was seven. I didn't like the idea of a boyfriend, My mom had alot of guy friends, because she did barrel racing in the rodeo, but when this guy came around that showed intrest in my mom, my sister and I just didn't like the idea of this "guy" hanging around. But when him and my mom got ingaged in became clear to us that this was a final thing. But we ended up accepting him and now he is my Daddy! I know that it's hard to accept change especially when your young, but when you get to my age, you relize what makes you happy, and my step-dad or as I call him, Dad, Makes me and my entire family happy. I still would like to meet my real father, but only to ask him why he never wrote back. When I was young I needed answers to all my questions, now all I need to know is... WHY.

 It's hard to accept change, But most of the time change is always better

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MY PARENTS WERE NEVER HAPPY TOGETHER AND I LIKE IT MORE WITHOUT MY FATHER AT HOME, BECAUSE MY MUM IS HER OWN PERSON. MY PARENTS STILL HAVE A HAPPY RELATIONSHIP AND HAVE ACHIEVED A GOOD BALANCE. AND MY DAD ONLY LIVES A FEW MINUTES AWAY FROM ME. I'VE GOT THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS AND ITS GREAT BECAUSE NOW EVERYONE IS HAPPY! I KNOW SOME PEOPLE GO THROUGH BAD SEPERATIONS AND DIVORCES BUT MY PARENTS DECISION TO SEPERATE WAS THE RIGHT THING TO DO. AND FOR ALL THOSE KIDS OUT THERE WHOSE PARENTS HAVE DIVORCED OR SEPERATED IT IS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD BECAUSE LIFE DOES GO ON AS I'VE LEARNED!

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I have just read the article that states that marriage is not about love. This is very untrue. For commitment to be in a marriage love and respect has to come first. The person also said that marriage must come before anything else. Well [I really disagree with that]. What about putting yourself first and making yourself happy. My parents have just seperated after 28 years of marriage. For 28 years my mum put up with emotional and physical abuse all for her kids. Then one day she woke up and put herself first, before anything else. And that is all I've ever wanted my mother to do - to do something for herself and to make herself happy. She deserves to be happy as does everyone else on this earth. And now that she has seperated from my father she is being her own person. My Dad and her are still close friends and he is still a part of our lives.

So to end I would like to say that divorce and seperation aren't neccessarily bad things if they are handled the right way. Everyone has a right to be happy and I'm glad that my mum has finally realised this, and she is happier than she has before.

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Well......I am 15 years old. My parents got a divorce when I was about 12 years old. I dont have many memories about my dad. I live with my mom. My mom has raised me all of these years on her own. She is such a strong person. My parents split apart when I was about 3. I have absolutely no memories about my dad. My  mom always tells me how sorry she is that I didn't get to grow up with a father. It's something that I will never know about. I often think about what it will be like on my wedding day. My mom tells me that it will be my choice to invite my dad to my wedding. I dont think that I will be inviting him.......although, he is my father and theres a part of me that wants to see him. I am a part of him afterall. That part of me is a part that i will never know about. It really hurts sometimes.  If anything.....their divorce has only made me stronger. I know what I will be looking for in a man. Seeing what my mother went through to raise me made me strong.....but there will always be something missing.

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Well, it isnt too bad having your parents split apart, but of coarse, i have been living like this for seven years. It isnt too bad for me because i dont really remember what it was like to live with both parents at once. What I have to say is a whole bunch, but I just dont know how to say it, and most of it is erelevent (you know useless info)but I dont think you should be mean to your children especially right after a divorce has occured. This may have your children thinking that they do not belong, and they may want to go to the other parent. Or they may feel as though the other parent does not love them anymore and after you yell, they may feel as the same about you. Also, you must not make the child feel bad for wanting to go see, or stay with the other parent. Sometime if I have more to say, I will post it here. Thanx (please listen to my suggestions, i assure that it will make your son/ daughter/sons/daughters feel better)

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My parents split up when I was about 8. My father used to hit my mother. I'm glad she left him, cause he was a bastard, but sometimes I miss having a Dad. All my friends have both parents, and I get sad some times. Mum's remarried now, but its a bit late for me. I'm glad now that my brothers get someone now and don't miss out like me. I'd just like to say to try really hard not to split up, but if it's inevitable, talk to your kids and try and make them understand. Don't just assume they know what's going on.

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Why My Mother and Father separated because My father was a violent man he would bash up my mother and treat her like his slave and when My older would be home, my father would abuse the living shit out of my brother and then the welfare would take him away and the only way mum could get him back is if Mum leaves him. Then after I was born, one day when my mother was in the kicthen, I was in cot and my father had done something to me and whatever it was I have no idea neither does my mother because she was in the kicthen and my father was in my room but whatever he did i had really screamed so loud that my mother heard me but she didn't do anything because my father would hit her even if my father hit my mother her dog would come in and would have attacked my father? With my brother, my father was a step father to him because my brother has another father which left my mother and my brother when he found out that mum was pregant. South Australia.

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My father and my mother broke up because of my fathers abuse. I dont really remember to much of him as a child. There are four memories i do have of him one is him getting arrested and another other is receving a pound puppy as a christmas present,i also remember looking at the stars with him i also remember going to his house for christmas one year and he told us he forgot to get our presents. These are all bad memories now he wants to be a part of our life or so he claimes. He never paid child support or bothered to see us, now he is tring to say he is disabled and cant get a job. He claims his back is messed up but he seems to be fine to me. He claimes he is not working but he nows how to play the system. Now my life is confusing he tells me one story and she tells me another some times i wish i could just die.

i have nothing aginst dads just dead beat dads and dead beat moms they arn't hurting them selves they are hurting us kids it does hurt and i thank my mom because she has done with out a lot just for us. THANKS TO ALL THE PARENTS WHO CARE AND AT LEAST WHO CARE.

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I'm Eighteen years old, my parents got a divorce when I was thirteen. At first it really did'nt bother me. I guess I was to young to care. They started out with joint custody, this lasted about a year. It was stupid the judge did'nt want the kids out of the house at any time so for that year my mom stayed with us far a month and my dad stay with us for a month. It was really hard for them, because they had to stay with relatives the months they were not staying with us. When the divorce was final my mom ended up geting custody of me and my brother. She moved out of town to start a new begging. My brother and I stay with her sister until she was able to take care of us. She would'nt let my father have custody of us, because she wanted him to suffer. At first neither one of them wanted to take on full responsibilty of us, so we ended up staying with my aunt for a while, As a matter of fact my brother and I just moved in with my mom this summer. It really hurt, because they missed out on all the important happenings in ourlives. I did'nt have a hard life because my aunt was always there, and despite all the drama in my life I still graduated high school and did'nt get pregnant. Now I'm engaged to be married to a very special person that my family loves. My aunt was the first to meet him, not my parents.

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don't get divorced, not unless your spouse is abusing you. you don't realize how much pain is in it. my parents divorced when i was a baby and the last time i saw my dad was when i was 5. now i wonder who he is, what he's like, if he loves me, if he still remembers me. i get confused and stuff--you don't want your child feeling that.

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My dad's a hooker, and my mom got drunk all the time. She was never home, and dad always had a new customer in the house. They didn't even notice we were around. I watched my younger siblings, my older siblings had already left home when they broke up. I went away, and have never heard from either of them again.

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I was only 1 1/2 when my parents' first started fighting, although its been 15 1/2 years, they still fight. I have a step-dad now that I live with and I enjoy it a lot more living with my mom. I think thats because when you live with your father during the times you need to talk to a women, it makes growing up harder. When I did live with my dad I acted more like a boy, always competing with the guys, now that I live with my mom, I take care of myself better. I thought I only had to put up with one divorce, but my dad and his second wife divorced when I was in 8th grade. I realized that divorce when you are older is harder, yet it is easier because you can make decisions that will help your parents out a lot. I am happier now, I am actually glad my parents divorced...it depends on who the people are and how they are compatible. I know now that my parents werent meant for each other and that makes it easier on me and my sister now.

I hope that those children who are struggling have someone there to comfort them when times are hard...thank god for my teachers and friends without them I would have gone through a big depression stage.

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mom and dad broke up when I was 4. my dad acts like a child and my mom a dictator. they never could, or would have made it.

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I think the main problem was that I was in 2nd grade and It happened suddenly. I remember having to go to the counselor in 2nd grade because I was scared that they would get a divorce and I remember the counselor assured me everything would be OK, then like a few days later they got separated and then it lead into divorce. And also In 5th grade I had to go to a counselor along with a group of 4 or 5 other kids whose parent's were also divorced. 

Neither of my parents are remarried, and I'm glad. I don't think they will get remarried. My dad almost got remarried, but he found out that the person he was seeing was already married and just didn't tell him. The lady [worked at my school], so I'm glad that she was married because I wouldn't want my step mom [working at my] school. I mostly live with my dad, and I spent the weekends with my mom. But it's usually only me going to see my mom. She lives in a condo, and it only has two bedrooms. Sometimes [my sister] goes with me, but most of the time she's spending the night at [a friend's] house on the weekends. 

But the weekends aren't the only times I see my mom, I see her on Wednesdays when she come over to our house to teach [music]... And whenever my dad is out of town, she comes over here to spend the night since we all can't stay at her house. I'm pretty much used to it. Since it happened when I was little, it's how I've lived most of my life, and some of my friend's parents are divorced, it just seems to me that when people's parent's AREN'T divorced it's strange... 

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 Well, it isnt too bad having your parents split apart, but of coarse, i have been living like this for seven years. It isnt too bad for me because i dont really remember what it was like to live with both parents at once. What I have to say is a whole bunch, but I just dont know how to say it, and most of it is erelevent (you know useless info)but I dont think you should be mean to your children especially right after a divorce has occured. This may have your children thinking that they do not belong, and they may want to go to the other parent. Or they may feel as though the other parent does not love them anymore and after you yell, they may feel as the same about you. Also, you must not make the child feel bad for wanting to go see, or stay with the other parent. Sometime if I have more to say, I will post it here. Thanx (please listen to my suggestions, i assure that it will make your son/ daughter/sons/daughters feel better) 

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 I wanted to get to know [my father], even though he might have been a jerk (which was all I was ever told, but not necessarily true all of the time), because all of who I am needed to be validated. I grew up in a home with a kind, although emotionally distant, step-father and a mother who was cronically ill from the time that I was about 8 years old. Just because they loved me, that didn't erase the memory of my father. The father that I had bonded with as a small child. 

I had been searching for "where I came from", etc., for a long time. I am not like my mother, nor my step-father, nor my sister or brother. When I came face to face with my birth father I burst into tears! I look like him. I sound like him. He is as sensitive as I am. (Something my mother NEVER understood about me, nor even tried to...she would just tell me to shut up and stop crying). He is also as intuitive as I am. So, whether or not he was a jerk, or might still be, I HAD THE RIGHT TO FIND OUT FOR MYSELF...I had the right to learn the lessons that would accompany knowing both of [my parents]. I'm not saying that my birth father is a jerk now. He's a very successful man. Very loving and supportive. Having an adult relationship with him is wonderful! Had I had a relationship with him, someone whom I'm a carbon copy of, I might not have felt so "out of place" and "like I didn't belong on this planet" for most of my life. 

...I doubt that his presence would have made [my childhood] any worse [than it was]. And maybe not better, but at least I would have known that I was loved. No matter his decisions, the decisions of my mother, the decisions of my step-father (adoptive), I had the right to all of the love that was supposed to be mine, regardless of whether or not my father was a "jerk". (Which, BTW, is always the other parent's opinion....it's simply a matter of knowing what is best for your child. He's not a jerk in his child's eyes). My birth father has grown up a lot and really is saddened by the years that we were apart. I do believe that his biggest regret is not being there for me, my sister and brother. For not reaching out. He was always afraid of being rejected by us, which is his excuse for not contacting us when we got older, and that's okay. The least that I can do is cut him some slack and be mature enough to let go of the past. 

I do know the struggle of raising a child who has a parent who is/was a jerk. (And I have to constantly remind myself that I SAW/SEE HIM THAT WAY AT TIMES, SHE DIDN'T/DOESN'T: TO HER, HE IS HER FATHER, NO MATTER WHAT) I don't know if I'm fortunate or not to have known both sides of this coin. I do believe that I learned a lot of hard lessons in life, but knowing that I'm doing my best is what gets me through. I would never have dreamt of actually keeping [my ex] out of [my daughter's] life... not that it didn't occur to me...I just couldn't cause that kind of pain in her life. I know that pain first hand, and it is not my place to decide that she and [her father] shouldn't have a relationship just because of some stupid things he's done. 

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It's not that bad...They don't fight as much 

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My father doesnt respect me he finds somthing wrong with everything 

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Last updated 31st October 2001

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