It turned out my Aunty had been having it on with another man for some time, and this ultimately ended their marriage and their friendship. They're both very stubborn and selfish so i am led to believe they will never again talk to each other again. A couple of months passed, after the separation, and my Aunty's new 'man' moved in.
After this things became very bad. My aunty started leaving the kids alone for extended periods of time, never listened to them, she went out drinking with her man nearlly evey night. It became apparent that she wanted to act like a teenager with no responsabilities. It broke my heart to see them (my cousins) hurt, so i tried to be there for them as much as i could. If i was asked to babysit them i would (not getting paid for it ). I wanted to be there for them because they are like sisters to me. After about three months of this she payed the ultimate price, she lost her girls. Now her Ex has the girls. We thought at least they will get looked after now. Terry has a girlfriend and they are all living at her house now. During this move my Aunty moved away, to follow (chase) her boyfriend. Who coincidentally went home because his ex wife was having a baby!
My cousins only get fed pasta and raw vegetables for tea while Terry and his 'woman' sit down to a big baked dinner. The girls ages range from about 3yrs to 13, so you can't tell me that that's all they should be eating. To cut a long story short, one of the girls now looks severely sick because she is so depressed she won't eat. She has always been skinny but now she is anorexic. You can tell the eldest is hurting inside and the two youngest girls are calling Terry's girlfriend MUM.Why do people have to be so selfish, you have to think about your main priority in times like this, and they are your children. Not your next partner, or worrying about having a vasectomy reversal so you can start a new family and forget about the last. THINK ABOUT THE KIDS, PLEASE
Thank you so much for this....it is so good for there to be a place where the young ones can see that what they are feeling is shared and come to understand what is happening for them.. I am the Mother and Mother-in-law, and I can tell you it is very difficult to stay in the middle road and try to be there for the Grand-children. Do you have a site for Grand-parents? As I have found there is so much hurt in the Grand parents hearts, when the grand children are just, out of whim taken to the other ends of the country or indeed, the Grand-parents are stopped by one party, of seeing or participating in the children's life. Has this been the case for you?
The Lawyer has told us that Grand parents have no rights...is this so? The children don't listen because of their individual pain and hurts,and the Grand children are in pain it is a big 'hurt' for all concerned. If only it could be seen that some times the grand parents would be good to take the grandchildren until it is sorted out then when everything is on an even keel then the children can be in an environment of Peace, hopefully. But it is not seen this way...I have been told in New Zealand that this is the practice when there is disharmony in the family because of the split up of the marriage, then the grand children go to the grand parents until the 'fight' is sorted and then it is easier of the children.
Thank you for listening to me...I guess...vent my feelings here...as i have been through this with both sons. One son was accused of some think violence, when the time stated he was staying with me and was eating dinner! But he had to go to court and prove his innocence? It doesn't seem fair, but they have moved on now and both are getting, I hope on with their lives....So i speak from experience and not that I am in the middle of it now. Thank you again for listening I believe from looking at what you have to offer there is a great need ....and you are providing it
I am Aunt to a 27month old boy. My son is the same age. I think it is sad when Parents (In this case, the Custodial mother) use the children in a way to hurt and upset the other family. We all love my nephew and had regular visits, with him either comming to our places or us going to his, up until Christmas 1998. All of a sudden his mum decided she didn't want us to have access. This hurt us a lot, but how much more would it hurt this bay who is too young to understand why he can't have access to the other side of his family. About 7 weeks after Christmas the mother decides she will restart visiting as if it never even stopped. This is not fair on either the familie involved nor the children. Especially when all concerned were getting on so well before Christmas - it was really out of the blue. How many more times will this mother try to do this during her child's life???