March
5, 2000
4pm Central Australia Standard Time
I have just
returned from a perusal of the 'story' so far. (It's really more a collection of stories.)
I was amazed at how it flows along considering the state of my brain. You may not be able
to pick it because my automatic pilot is working overtime, but the brain fog is pretty bad
lately. To give you an insight: When I am writing a page I cannot remember
what was on the previous page unless I go back and read it. There seems to be a shortage
of short-term memory storage space in my brain. Even worse, I can't think ahead about what
I want to say. The mechanism just doesn't seem to exist. It is the same when I am
speaking. I just have to start and trust that somewhere inside my brain things are working
and it will come out right.
When I became ill,
I discovered I couldn't handwrite anymore. If I tried, the writing would be very hard to
read (always a problem but much worse now!) and I would tire mentally and be unable to
continue. This effectively killed my journal writing. When I started learning how to use a
computer I was surprised (and delighted) to discover that I was able to 'write' using a
computer keyboard. I've used this to good advantage, writing to friends overseas via
email, communicating using text chat in real time, producing the Adventures of ozEkoala,
and now this latest project, which, at the date of writing, doesn't yet have a name.
Grant is waiting
to see what I will be like when I get better. It makes me wonder, too. I have learned a
lot of new skills because of all the time I have spent using the computer, and I would
like to put them to good use. I am thankful for the things I can do now, which help
me pass the time and keep my mind occupied, but I feel like I am in a pleasant hospital or
a friendly prison!
It is seven weeks
to Easter. I wonder what the future holds? If it is anything like what the last
seven weeks have hinted at, it could be interesting...
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