Telling
this part is tricky. It involves someone else and to tell the story without mentioning him
would render the story meaningless. But, to speak freely about that person seems
callous because it is the tragic story of a relationship that is impossible
to completely reconcile.
What to do?
I'll try telling it just as it comes at first and see how I go.
I was married for
twelve years to someone other than Grant, and it was one of life's true tragedies. I
still have a deep sense of grief over, not only the death of that marriage, but also the
very fact of it. Don't worry, I'm not going to bleed all over the page at you! God
has done major heart surgery and I have a clean bill of health - but life has some
horrible realities, and one of those is divorce.
I married a
Christian, as a Christian, so strictly speaking divorce didn't exist for me. This
seemed to be what the Bible stated categorically was God's view of the situation. It was
what I was taught, and it was what I believed. You won't be able to make a valid judgement
for yourself on this, because I am unable to explain in detail the facts of the
situation. I put this in only to help you grasp the seeming hopelessness of my
situation, so as to appreciate the miracle of hope God granted me.
For the first six
months of marriage, peace reigned. During this time as a new Christian I was a very keen
student of the Bible, for which I am especially thankful because I believe that the
foundation which was laid at that time helped keep me from losing my sanity.
Suddenly,
overnight, a serious and debilitating mental illness manifested itself in my husband's
mind. It struck at the very core of our marriage due to it's specific nature (which
I am not free to discuss here). We were reeling under the weight of it and cried out
to God for help. Immediately we saw the hand of God come to our aid in the form of a
remarkable 'coincidence'.
Our pastor
happened to read an article about a certain mental illness the
same day that we had an appointment with him to discuss our dilemma. You guessed it
- he was able to diagnose the problem instantly and recommend psychiatric help.
I won't discuss my
feelings about psychiatric 'help' here - it wouldn't be pleasant or helpful, I'm
sure. I thank God for helping us get our bearings, but beyond that my memories of
that time are dismal.
It is much more
edifying and encouraging to consider what God was doing than to get bogged down in
recriminations and blaming. Let me continue to set the scene for you so you can
fully appreciate the amazing things God has done.
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