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Highlights of book: 'Leading Through Conflict' by Mark Gerzon, Harvard Business School 2006, ISBN 1-59139-919-X

Introduction

This is about management as it should be in the 21st century (and maybe should have been much earlier!).

For a paper that gives an abbreviated summary of the things said in this book, see this web page.

Chapter	Page	Highlight
Foreword & Intro	x	William Ury (co-author of 'Getting to Yes'): "Ordinary leadership tends to be one-sided. You, as the leader, know what is best, and you give orders accordingly".
	1	'Hot' and 'cold' (i.e. suppressed) conflicts.
	5	'We see everything from inside the borders of our worldviews."
	9	'Managers' give top-down orders from within their job definitions. 'Demagogues' dominate by using 'fear of difference'.
1 -	23	The Demagogue's leadership strategy "requires the glorification of 'us' and the vilification of 'them'. And this should start with the children.
Demagogues	24	This approach needs "high-octane polarities' and repeated reference to "the hated Other".
	25	It involves "short-circuiting human conscience".
2 -	44	Managerial-style leadership tends to promote short-termism; it is also poor at foreseeing and avoiding future conflicts.
Managers	45	Mari Fitzduff: "Getting a politician to think about conflict prevention is like getting a teenager to think about a pension".
3 - Mediators	61	Each of Gerzon's 8 essentials for good mediation form the subsections of this chapter: Integral Vision (p 61); Systems Thinking (p 81); Presence (p 97); Inquiry (p 119); Conscious conversation (p 141); Dialogue (p167); Bridging (p 189); and Innovation (p 207).
	63	We should "stand up for self-determination of all peoples". [RT: This sounds like Honneth's 'recognition'. But how are groups of 'peoples' to be delimited? Won't many people belong to many groups, e.g. by religion, race, class, language, vital interests, earnestly-held opinions?]
		We should "fight hypocrisy and lies of all kinds".
	94	"There are those who, deprived of the 'comfort' of having an enemy, keep trying to invent one." This comes from a report of a UN Eminent Persons Group.
	100	Regarding 'presence', we mare more likely to be present when we are: "1) open to perceiving what is happening right now; 2) responsive to the needs of this moment; 3) flexible enough to shift gears; 4) able to notice if our current behaviour or strategy is not working; 5) creative enough to invent a new approach in the moment; 6) honest enough to admit if we don't have an approach yet".
	101	Presence means "having an intention without expectations". A character MG calls 'Maria' said "I can't become attached; nothing is certain".
	103	Walter Link: "The world is too complicated to extrapolate from the past". I.e., one can't rely on a 'linear mind'.
	104	We need to "make the inner journey", not "Acquire the skill to manipulate the external world".
	105	MG talks about 'EQ', i.e. a measure of emotional intelligence, by analogy with IQ. [RT: like my Emotional Fitness']
	107	We need 'vision quests' to look for the inner vision [RT: in the sense of this web page, I suppose.].
	108	We need to move from being 'victims' [RT: presumably as the 'recipients' of whatever the world throws at us] to being 'players'.
	117	People are often "more attached to being right than to solving the problem".
	115	"Instead of teaching students 'how to ask powerful questions', students are beoming highly-trained, test-oriented 'answer-givers'."
	122	"In a culture that resembles 'All-Talk-Radio-All-the-Time', genuine inquiry has virtually vanished. Everyone wants to 'have their say', but no-one wants to 'lend an ear'. The only people left who are willing to ask questions are those who are paid to do it. Everybody else is too busy making sure that they get their own airtime."
	125	"Much of the world remains wedded to educational systems that value obedience within worldviews far more than inquiry across them." "The world will inevitably disintegrate into competing 'groupthinks'."
	126	"Educational systems around the world are churning out graduates who have learned a profession or craft but not inquiry."
		[RT: If we can't get agreement, the first thing to do is to ask "What questions do we need to ask to try and get the information we need to make the best, or at least a good, decision?"]
	132	Nelson Mandela: "The shepherd stays behind the flock, letting the most nimble go on ahead, whereupon the others follow, not realizing that all along they are being driven from behind".
		"Don't 'make up for ignorance with militancy'."
	136	Three maxims: 1) "Interrogation is not inquiry"; 2) "Hold your own thoughts and judgments lightly"; 3) "Don't ask questions unless you are genuinely interested in the other's response".
	139	Opponents are "swimming together in the same stormy sea".
	145	Gerzon proposes 8 forms of discourse: 1) Verbal brawling; 2) Debate; 3) Presentation and Q&A; 4) Discussion; 5) Negotiation; 6) Council: 7) Dialogue; 8) Reflective silence. For some bullet points for each of these, see the second table which appears below these highlights. [RT: I might add Speeches (without Q&A), 'Frank exchanges of views', and Gossip - and maybe ordinary casual conversations (these last two would assume that participants share frameworks or 'worldviews').]
	153	"It is our addiction to nonstop chatter that is indefensible."
		Dr Hallowell: "Overloaded with these 'feckless synaptic events signifying nothing', the brain gradually loses the capacity to attend fully or thoroughly to anything".
	154	Party politics, and some other environments, expect and require a 'permanent campaign'.
	155	A group of US congressmen from both sides called for a 'civility retreat', and Mark Gerzon led this - see this paper.
	158	The set of ground rules for the retreat was: 1) "Objective: To create a safe environment for open conversation." 2) "Respect: To show consideration for; avoid violation of; treat with deference. Demonstrate valuing of people and process as much as outcome. No personal attacks." 3) "Fairness: Equal time for speakers; speak briefly; time is limited." 4) "Listening: When others speak, listen – don’t prepare your remarks; listen with intent to understand." 5) "Openness: To other points of view; to outcome; to each person regardless of seniority." 6) "Privacy: Treat sessions as confidential; outside the retreat do not attribute comments to others; speak from your own experience." 7) "Commitment: Be present; communicate if absent."
	160	The purpose of increasing civility is not politeness for its own sake.
	164	Let go of the goal of 'winning arguments'.
	197	"The old model of 'CEO as hero' has run aground. We need team leadership instead.
	211	"In low-trust ... environments, there are always reasons to reject an idea."
		"Turf-based, managerial leaders predictably react negatively to new ideas. Like partisan politicians, they think of winning and losing within the current system."
	214	A good idea is to find something two sides can agree on as a start (to negotiation).
	220	American Electric Power Co (and others) recognized "that we were going to live in a carbon-constrained world". [RT: So, if we don't like the carbon tax? And even if it's the polluters who decide to take action on their own initiative, won't we still end up paying more for things?]
	222	The priority may be to 'fix the process, not the problem'.
4 -	227	"We are taught virtually nothing about conflict - we're 'conflict illiterate'."
Conclusion	et seq	In the future, we might do some of the following: [RT: I've put these in separate rows of the table.]
		• Learning how to turn conflict into an asset. This might result in fewer lawsuits.
		• Teaching young people about other worldviews
		• Designing public spaces for dialogue, e.g. near a library, cafe or school cafeteria [RT: in my imaginary and somewhat idealized 'Fire Island', cities have small 'urban districts' with such spaces.]
		• Expanding the news media's repertoire. Currently the game is to "offend people first, talk fast, spin the facts for maximum impact, raise your voice, interrupt other speakers, dominate the conversation, consume all the airtime, exaggerate, don't be complicated, stamp a label on your forehead. Verbal brawling is on the rise; debate is getting dirtier. Could the media rise above this?" [RT: I doubt it.]
		• Using the mediator's tools in public forums.
		• Running healthier political campaigns, with 'codes of conduct'. What about an 'all parties' convention?
		• Creating a legislative office of facilitation.
		• Forming mediation teams for conflicts. The UN does try to do this.
		• Creating a UN Inquiry Council - separate from the Security Council.
		• Working together for a sustainable, equitable future.
		World Wildlife Fund: "The ecological footprint of all humankind would require 2 Earths by the year 2050."
	234	Thomas Friedman: "The serious protesters have made their point that it matters how we globalize, but they can make a difference only if they design solutions in partnership with businesses and governments. The moment is ripe for a world leader who can bring them together.
5 -		This appendix offers guidelines for use in times of crisis, under the title "When Conflict Erupts". What is one to do in the heat of the moment?
Appendix		1. Make time your ally
		2. Breathe - and protect yourself (not by holding your breath and counting!)
		3. Determine your goal and focus on it
		4. Speak to who is present
		5. Avoid name-calling and blaming
		6. Beware of self-righteousness
		7. Keep your shadow in front of you (i.e. your past baggage - watch it!)
		8. Listen to everything, but respond selectively
		9. First inquire, then fire
		10. Consider calling in a third side
		11. Take stock before you take sides
		12. Listen more, speak less
		13. Learn your adversary's 'language'
		14. Let your adversary know you (as a person)
		15. Observe the sacred rules, e.g. 'Do as you would be done by'.

Chapter

Page

Highlight

Foreword
& Intro

William Ury (co-author of 'Getting to Yes'): "Ordinary leadership tends to be one-sided. You, as the leader, know what is best, and you give orders accordingly".

'Hot' and 'cold' (i.e. suppressed) conflicts.

'We see everything from inside the borders of our worldviews."

'Managers' give top-down orders from within their job definitions. 'Demagogues' dominate by using 'fear of difference'.

1 -

The Demagogue's leadership strategy "requires the glorification of 'us' and the vilification of 'them'. And this should start with the children.

Demagogues

This approach needs "high-octane polarities' and repeated reference to "the hated Other".

It involves "short-circuiting human conscience".

2 -

Managerial-style leadership tends to promote short-termism; it is also poor at foreseeing and avoiding future conflicts.

Managers

Mari Fitzduff: "Getting a politician to think about conflict prevention is like getting a teenager to think about a pension".

3 -
Mediators

Each of Gerzon's 8 essentials for good mediation form the subsections of this chapter: Integral Vision (p 61); Systems Thinking (p 81); Presence (p 97); Inquiry (p 119); Conscious conversation (p 141); Dialogue (p167); Bridging (p 189); and Innovation (p 207).

We should "stand up for self-determination of all peoples". [RT: This sounds like Honneth's 'recognition'. But how are groups of 'peoples' to be delimited? Won't many people belong to many groups, e.g. by religion, race, class, language, vital interests, earnestly-held opinions?]

We should "fight hypocrisy and lies of all kinds".

"There are those who, deprived of the 'comfort' of having an enemy, keep trying to invent one." This comes from a report of a UN Eminent Persons Group.

100

Regarding 'presence', we mare more likely to be present when we are: "1) open to perceiving what is happening right now; 2) responsive to the needs of this moment; 3) flexible enough to shift gears; 4) able to notice if our current behaviour or strategy is not working; 5) creative enough to invent a new approach in the moment; 6) honest enough to admit if we don't have an approach yet".

101

Presence means "having an intention without expectations". A character MG calls 'Maria' said "I can't become attached; nothing is certain".

103

Walter Link: "The world is too complicated to extrapolate from the past". I.e., one can't rely on a 'linear mind'.

104

We need to "make the inner journey", not "Acquire the skill to manipulate the external world".

105

MG talks about 'EQ', i.e. a measure of emotional intelligence, by analogy with IQ. [RT: like my Emotional Fitness']

107

We need 'vision quests' to look for the inner vision [RT: in the sense of this web page, I suppose.].

108

We need to move from being 'victims' [RT: presumably as the 'recipients' of whatever the world throws at us] to being 'players'.

117

People are often "more attached to being right than to solving the problem".

115

"Instead of teaching students 'how to ask powerful questions', students are beoming highly-trained, test-oriented 'answer-givers'."

122

"In a culture that resembles 'All-Talk-Radio-All-the-Time', genuine inquiry has virtually vanished. Everyone wants to 'have their say', but no-one wants to 'lend an ear'. The only people left who are willing to ask questions are those who are paid to do it. Everybody else is too busy making sure that they get their own airtime."

125

"Much of the world remains wedded to educational systems that value obedience within worldviews far more than inquiry across them." "The world will inevitably disintegrate into competing 'groupthinks'."

126

"Educational systems around the world are churning out graduates who have learned a profession or craft but not inquiry."

[RT: If we can't get agreement, the first thing to do is to ask "What questions do we need to ask to try and get the information we need to make the best, or at least a good, decision?"]

132

Nelson Mandela: "The shepherd stays behind the flock, letting the most nimble go on ahead, whereupon the others follow, not realizing that all along they are being driven from behind".

"Don't 'make up for ignorance with militancy'."

136

Three maxims: 1) "Interrogation is not inquiry"; 2) "Hold your own thoughts and judgments lightly"; 3) "Don't ask questions unless you are genuinely interested in the other's response".

139

Opponents are "swimming together in the same stormy sea".

145

Gerzon proposes 8 forms of discourse: 1) Verbal brawling; 2) Debate; 3) Presentation and Q&A; 4) Discussion; 5) Negotiation; 6) Council: 7) Dialogue; 8) Reflective silence. For some bullet points for each of these, see the second table which appears below these highlights. [RT: I might add Speeches (without Q&A), 'Frank exchanges of views', and Gossip - and maybe ordinary casual conversations (these last two would assume that participants share frameworks or 'worldviews').]

153

"It is our addiction to nonstop chatter that is indefensible."

Dr Hallowell: "Overloaded with these 'feckless synaptic events signifying nothing', the brain gradually loses the capacity to attend fully or thoroughly to anything".

154

Party politics, and some other environments, expect and require a 'permanent campaign'.

155

A group of US congressmen from both sides called for a 'civility retreat', and Mark Gerzon led this - see this paper.

158

The set of ground rules for the retreat was: 1) "Objective: To create a safe environment for open conversation." 2) "Respect: To show consideration for; avoid violation of; treat with deference. Demonstrate valuing of people and process as much as outcome. No personal attacks." 3) "Fairness: Equal time for speakers; speak briefly; time is limited." 4) "Listening: When others speak, listen – don’t prepare your remarks; listen with intent to understand." 5) "Openness: To other points of view; to outcome; to each person regardless of seniority." 6) "Privacy: Treat sessions as confidential; outside the retreat do not attribute comments to others; speak from your own experience." 7) "Commitment: Be present;
communicate if absent."

160

The purpose of increasing civility is not politeness for its own sake.

164

Let go of the goal of 'winning arguments'.

197

"The old model of 'CEO as hero' has run aground. We need team leadership instead.

211

"In low-trust ... environments, there are always reasons to reject an idea."

"Turf-based, managerial leaders predictably react negatively to new ideas. Like partisan politicians, they think of winning and losing within the current system."

214

A good idea is to find something two sides can agree on as a start (to negotiation).

220

American Electric Power Co (and others) recognized "that we were going to live in a carbon-constrained world". [RT: So, if we don't like the carbon tax? And even if it's the polluters who decide to take action on their own initiative, won't we still end up paying more for things?]

222

The priority may be to 'fix the process, not the problem'.

4 -

227

"We are taught virtually nothing about conflict - we're 'conflict illiterate'."

Conclusion

et seq

In the future, we might do some of the following: [RT: I've put these in separate rows of the table.]

• Learning how to turn conflict into an asset. This might result in fewer lawsuits.

• Teaching young people about other worldviews

• Designing public spaces for dialogue, e.g. near a library, cafe or school cafeteria [RT: in my imaginary and somewhat idealized 'Fire Island', cities have small 'urban districts' with such spaces.]

• Expanding the news media's repertoire. Currently the game is to "offend people first, talk fast, spin the facts for maximum impact, raise your voice, interrupt other speakers, dominate the conversation, consume all the airtime, exaggerate, don't be complicated, stamp a label on your forehead. Verbal brawling is on the rise; debate is getting dirtier. Could the media rise above this?" [RT: I doubt it.]

• Using the mediator's tools in public forums.

• Running healthier political campaigns, with 'codes of conduct'. What about an 'all parties' convention?

• Creating a legislative office of facilitation.

• Forming mediation teams for conflicts. The UN does try to do this.

• Creating a UN Inquiry Council - separate from the Security Council.

• Working together for a sustainable, equitable future.

World Wildlife Fund: "The ecological footprint of all humankind would require 2 Earths by the year 2050."

234

Thomas Friedman: "The serious protesters have made their point that it matters how we globalize, but they can make a difference only if they design solutions in partnership with businesses and governments. The moment is ripe for a world leader who can bring them together.

5 -

This appendix offers guidelines for use in times of crisis, under the title "When Conflict Erupts". What is one to do in the heat of the moment?

Appendix

1. Make time your ally

2. Breathe - and protect yourself (not by holding your breath and counting!)

3. Determine your goal and focus on it

4. Speak to who is present

5. Avoid name-calling and blaming

6. Beware of self-righteousness

7. Keep your shadow in front of you (i.e. your past baggage - watch it!)

8. Listen to everything, but respond selectively

9. First inquire, then fire

10. Consider calling in a third side

11. Take stock before you take sides

12. Listen more, speak less

13. Learn your adversary's 'language'

14. Let your adversary know you (as a person)

15. Observe the sacred rules, e.g. 'Do as you would be done by'.

#	Form	Bullet points on page 145
1.	Verbal	• War of words - language as weapon
	brawling	• Verbal attacks against the other 'side'
		• Violations of decency and truth are common
		• 'Loose cannons' - no sense of responsibility
2.	Debate	• Highly polarized pro- and con- 'sides' on issues
		• Seeks monopoly on truth - right versus wrong
		• Focused on winning, not compromise
		• No verbal threats or actual physical violence
		(MG's comment: an example is 'Does God exist? Yes or No?'.) [RT: No violence unless it's the Spanish Inquisition!]
3.	Presentation	• One person (or 'panel' dominates discourse
	& Q & A	• Audience may question speakers (the 'Q & A")
		(MG's comment: OK for 'downloading' information. But for audience members, they might often be better off reading, listening or watching in their own time.)
4.	Discussion	• Not inclusive; some dominate, some never speak
		• Goal is information sharing
		(MG's comment: it may not be oriented to any goal.)
5.	Negotiation	• Resolving disputes by seeking common ground
		• Organized with two (or more) 'sides' at the table
		• Assumes a willingness to compromise
		• Goal is a durable settlement for all stakeholders [RT: may not be possible if it's about job losses]
		(MG's comment: spokesmen for a 'side', may still claim 'we won' or 'we lost' afterwards, and the media may decide to declare a winner and loser!)
6.	Council	• Structured process that includes all voices
		• Establishes value of diverse points of view
		• No opportunity for immediate reaction or rebuttal
		• Fosters attentive listening and mutual respect
		(MG's comment: an example is the traditional practice of the Iroquois Confederacy.) [RT: I suppose that can include use of a 'speaking stick'.]
7.	Dialogue	• Inquiry not advocacy, leading to new options
		• Involves suspending judgment
		• Acknowledges value of others' positions
		• Develops a wider, shared knowledge base
		• Identifies deeper issues requiring resolution
8.	Reflective	• Invocation of quiet to shift tone and awareness
	silence	• May involve use of words as 'blessing' [RT: A bit like prayer?]
		Can be coupled with request for reflection [RT: It would need a pretty experienced 'facilitator' to get away with this!]

FROLIO – Formalizable Relationship-Oriented Language-Insensitive Ontology

Highlights of book: 'Leading Through Conflict' by Mark Gerzon, Harvard Business School 2006, ISBN 1-59139-919-X

Introduction

More on Gerzon's 8 forms of dialogue

Afterthoughts

Links