Rendition
Stars: Jake Gyllenhaal, Reece Witherspoon
Director: Gavin Hood
Titbits: |
This is right up there with Gone
Baby Gone, and if you haven't seen that, well, go see it! But that's another
story; Rendition tells the story of a man on international business travel
who is kidnapped by the CIA and taken to a secret detention facility in
North Africa on suspicion of terrorist activity. And its not just the, what
appears to be, unlawful abduction of the man, but the cover up, the way he
is "disappeared", tension ensues. Pretty intense flick, you just can't
imagine being in the position of this dude. This is basically an homage to
what's actually happening around the world right now, and that in itself is
pretty scary. I won't plot it any more suffice to say that there is a
documentary as part of the extras that explains quite a bit of it including
the statistics, horrific!
Gyllenhaal has found his niche playing these pained parts, he's been
great in both indy and Hollywood films, but always plays that same refrain.
No matter though, he's very good at it. He's a cross between Brokeback
and Jarhead here. But the real power lies with the ensemble that's
been assembled around him, its the bit parts that really nail it.
Witherspoon's good if a little annoying, and she's the only other name per
se, so the supporting cast lift this above good to great.
And its a powerful topic too with the Afghanistan and Iraq conflicts
still fresh and raging, and particularly the focus on the way the US
government have gone about it; you only have to watch SBS any given week
during prime time and there's some documentary playing that's directly
related to it.
And scary too, there's no doubting that this could actually be happening
right now, its really quite unsettling that this is far from fiction.
Which adds to its ambiance as an excellent political thriller. Hits
all the high notes, over and above where Lions For Lambs went - which of
course was also excellent. Highly recommended viewing.
4 and a half stars |
Romasanta
Stars: Julian Sands
Director: Francisco Plaza
Titbits: The opening credits made a really big deal that
Francisco Plaza was at the helm. I looked him. He's done
nothing. Appropriate really... |
Thought this was going to be one
of those trippy Werewolf movies, as well as this being based on a true
story; very Brotherhood Of The Wolf, or so it read. And the opening
scene was an absolute corker with the hunted staring down the hunter -
seeing is believing. But it followed through with an excuse for Julian Sands
to feel up a younger actress and some very average period-piece drama.
Movie making 101: Embellishment of true stories will always fail.
2 stars
|
Runaway Jury
Stars: John Cusack, Rachel Weisz, Gene Hackman, Dustin Hoffman
Director: Gary Fleder
Titbits: Hackman and Hoffman were both classmates at the
Pasadena Playhouse and were both voted "Least Likely To Succeed".
This is their first flick together, way to stick it up 'em lads.
|
Yet another really good Cusack
flick, backed solidly with Grisham's pen. But where The Firm and
Pelican Brief kept us cruising along at a fairly steady pace, this thing
moves more rapidly. Still with that same Grisham panache for story telling
of course, but its got an edge that the other screen versions (of his
books) haven't. Cusack is excellent as Nicholas Easter, a man with an
agenda. Weisz plays the girlfriend, and lo and behold, Hackman
actually does a brilliant job as the defence council's secret weapon.
It centres around a court case where a gun company is being sued for
negligence over a school yard shooting and both sides appear to have a good
case. Everyone's trying to manipulate the jury, its just a matter of
who runs out of time first.
The cast is second to none, and although this doesn't have Cusack's
signature, his (apparent) stable mate Jeremy Piven once again shares the
screen with him. Love Jeremy's work, though his choice of movies has
been a little lacking at times. Hoffman, well he's Hoffman, there's no
denying that. He does that little throat mumble thing when he talks
and tries never to take a breath, but occasionally he breaks out with some
great dialogue. The material is what really sets this movie a cut
above. In saying that though, Cusack only gets on to any of his
familiar ramblings a few times, must've been leashed a little.
The film has a great look and great energy, and in fact director Gary
Fleder has directed two of my well favoured movies in "Impostor" and "Don't
Say A Word". So in the end it was to be expected for mine I just
didn't realise it at the time. Very little else to say here other
than...
4 stars (I might change this, I've seen it twice now and enjoyed it more
the second time around) |
The Safety Of Objects
Stars: Glenn Close, Dermot Mulroney
Director: Rose Troche
Titbits: In one of the featurettes, Glenn Close explains
that while they were filming in an actual mall, there was as sign out the
front that said something like "Shopping is great!" out the front. |
What a truly liberating movie.
Go hire this as soon as you can and make all your friends watch it.
I'm very biased toward the message it carries so this can only be a
subjective review, but go see it and make up your own minds. It follows a
neighbourhood of families whose lives intersect on a more profound level
than simple geography. Interwoven relationships, unspoken respect,
from the kids to the parents, they reveal a point of change in their lives
that we all reach, and slowly reveal their personal unravelling to get
through it. Hitting the wall, in a nice way.
Glenn Close is outstanding, in fact the entire ensemble is just that,
outstanding. Great direction, great story, you'll laugh, cry, you'll scratch your head. Enjoy this one for what it is, and what it says.
4 and a half stars |
Sahara
Stars: Matthew McConaughey, Steve Zahn
Director: Breck Eisner
Titbits: |
This is the kind’ve
devil-may-care, testosterone fueled machismo that is lacking in cinema
today. Our heroes are mostly thoughtful, unashamedly selfless and by all
means chivalrous to the last drop. But not this guy, not this time, he’s out
for whatever he can get and hey, if he saves the day and the damsel in the
process, well so be it.
Enter Matthew McConaughey’s swashbuckling ex-marine, certified in
anything to do with guns and explosives, some time marine recovery type
person but mostly a modern day pirate - Dirk Pitt. The name even sounds big
and dumb and cute and whacko. And Matty loves it, yep he does, he had a ball
filming this you can really tell. Steve Zahn, best side-kick we’ve seen in a
long time, resurrecting his less out of it side first shown in Road Kill.
Faithful to the end despite having a steadier head on him, will still follow
down all the wrong paths in order to save his best mate’s head. Great job
from Steve.
A pretty solid ensemble actually, except for Penelope Cruz – she’s shite
no matter what she does. Sits up there with the Indy and Mummy flicks, very
nicely surprised.
3 and a half stars |
Saw
Stars: James Wan
Director: James Whannell, Cary Elwes
Titbits: How's this for authentic: The guts used in
one of the scenes were pig uterus. |
Ooooooooo, icky, spooky, grungy,
nasty! One of the best psychological thrillers to come out in years. Two men
wake up in a room, they don't know how they got there, they don't know why
they're there. They just know that they're chained to a post with
instructions on how to get out, and someone is watching. The police haven't
been able to catch the mastermind and it doesn't look like they're getting
close. You can't discount anything, the killer could be anyone, noone can be
trusted.
Cary "Princess Bride" Elwes is not cute, cuddly and suave here, talk
about a breakout performance. Leigh Whannell's Adam is perfect in nervous
anticipation. The old "put two men in a room together" comes off really
well. The story flows quickly with use of flashbacks to keep everyone in the
loop. But even when everything appears revealed, its so not! Its got a great
whodunnit element built in and tons of eye-hiding moments.
Not for the squeamish, you will grimace! ...mmmmmmm, grimace...
4 and a half stars |
Scary Movie 3
Stars: Anna Faris, Regina Hall, Charlie Sheen
Director: David Zucker
Titbits: Queen Latifah doesn't appear in the final release
of the movie, however she is in all the promo's and poster. Her scenes
(spoofing Matrix Reloaded) were all cut in post-production. |
You've seen Episodes 1 and 2 per
chance? Even if you didn't go out of your way to see them, I'm sure you've
at least caught bits. This continues in the same vein. I recommend a healthy
dose of wacky tobaccy for best results, but of course I don't condone it.
Probably. The spoofs include The Ring, Independence Day, 8 Mile, Signs,
The Others, The Matrix plus a few more. And there's some really nice touches
with Pamela Anderson, Jenny McCarthy, that Simon dude from American Idol,
and Leslie Neilson weighs in with a brilliant Naked Gun style cameo.
Its nice to see Charlie Sheen doing more comedy too, I reckon his Hot Shots
movies are great examples of this genre and he makes them work, he's a very
funny man. Caught Two-and-a-Half Men yet? Great stuff.
Its not ground breaking comedy and episode 2 is a lot better, but its
pretty good for some Sunday afternoon brain-free time.
3 stars |
School Of Rock
Stars: Jack Black, Joan Cusack
Director: Richard Linklater
Titbits: Writer Mike White actually hates rock music, yet
worked with Jack Black on the script who loves rock music. Go figure.
One of the coolest things I read on this flick is the petition Black put to
the band Led Zeppelin. The Zeps are "notoriously hesitant to allow
their music to be licensed for commercial purposes - IMDB". So
Linklater and Black put together footage of Black in front of hundreds of
screaming fans pleading to let them use "The Immigrant Song" for the film.
It worked!
|
Jack Black stars as Dewey Finn, an
amateur guitarist who has dedicated his life to his music. Trouble is his
music isn't making him any money, and his best friend and roommate, Ned, and
his girlfriend want him out of the apartment unless he can start paying his
way. Then his band kicks him out. A fortuitous phone call results in Dewey
pretending to be Ned, pretending to be a substitute teacher at an exclusive
private school just to get some money together, but when Dewey discovers
that the kids can play music, he decides to masquerade a school project as
putting a band together. Hilarity ensues.
This is pretty unusual for a Jack Black flick. Usually they start out
with a bang and then go one way or another in the middle. This one starts
out slow and a bit of a yawn, but then gets better as the movie goes. Jack's
not in his usual form, I think he's tried to go subtle this time out. All is
not lost however as the kids make it shine. Joan Cusack comes across a bit
refrained in this also, whether forced or not I couldn't tell, she's quiet
but does a good job.
The coolest thing about this flick is that everyone who is playing an
instrument, actually does play that instrument. Too many movies see actors
pretend to play and it looks horribly contrived - take The New Guy as a
classic recent example - also terrible to watch are people that obviously
mime. Again, here the actors are all singing, all dancing. Great stuff.
The film's music is based in 70s and early 80s rock and showcases some
great tunes. Classics from Cream, Kiss, The Clash, Deep Purple, both eras of
AC/DC, Black Sabbath and a Stevie Nicks hum dinger are rounded out by modern
bands Young Heart Attack and The Darkness. Being the basis of the film, it
was actually used so Jack Black could perform his own favourite music. And
now that I know this, it adds some substance to the scenes because not only
was Jack's character enthused to introduce people to his music, he probably
wasn't even acting at the time.
Its got a hint of the underdog and takes a poke at high priced schooling,
and I think they've tried to display "its not if you win or lose, but how
you play the game". Beer bong for the lady? Still cracks me up, go see Evil
Woman to refresh what Jack can do.
3 stars |
Secret Window
Stars: Johnny Depp, John Turturro, Maria Bello
Director: David Koepp
Titbits: I thought it was strange that King didn't make his
oft un-credited cameo appearance - something he does in most of his
novel-movies. Turns out he traded away the rights to this movie to
secure the rights to Kingdom Hospital, so chances are he had no creative or
consultative input. Or didn't care. |
Mort Rainey is a successful writer
who, while going through a divorce, is living a life of solitude in a
country cabin as his next book gestates. Ah, the life of a writer.
His routine is shattered one morning though, when a strange man comes
calling, accusing him of plagiarism. Weird stuff ensues. This is
Stephen King's latest novel-come-movie and starts out with all sorts of
curiosity. Depp as the quirky, slightly unhinged novelist proves very
suited, and Turturro as the stranger is so politely sinister I didn't know
whether to be wary of him or just invite him in for coffee and cake.
The ensemble reinforce the leads nicely, and I thought Timothy Hutton's
inclusion was a nice touch, given he starred in King's The Dark Half
some years back. And then...
...the movie just turns into The Dark Half from some years back,
and I found myself looking for the remote control. It was either that,
or the fork.
3 stars |
Shark Tale
Stars: Will Smith, Robert De Niro, Renee Zellweger
Director: Bibo Bergeron
Titbits: There is a noticable Australian accent for the
character "Katy Current". A little digging led to discovering it was
Tracey Grimshaw. Turns out each international release of the movie -
Tracey for Australia - was cast a local prominent female news reader. |
Mediocre-to-good animated movie
starring a shrimp thingy who aspires to be king of the reef. Just gotta get
past those pesky sharks before he can reach the top of the food chain.
Here's where this one goes wrong: They make the characters actually look
like the voices instead of the other way around. Smith's prawn is actually a
negro, Jolie's fish has big lips, and De Niro's cheek mole has been tackily
placed upon his character's...err...cheek.
It does have its moments despite its mediocrity, but despite this its up
there with the best in terms of animation; it looks amazing. Bring on
Madagascar though!
3 stars |
Shrek 2
Stars: Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy, Cameron Diaz
Director: Andrew Adamson, Kelly Asbury
Titbits: Shrek 2 became the highest grossing animate feature
in history in only 25 days! $346.5 million in total in the States
alone, beating out Nemo's previous record of $339.8 million. |
How cute, how romantic, how
overtly cheesey-and-yet-it-works. I was prepared to not like this but I
just can't, how could you not? There's a talking cat with a "cute" stare, aaawwwwwww.
Shrek 2 picks up where 1 left off, we get a bit of the honeymoon and then
its back to life as normal. But the gist of the movie is when Shrek has to
"meet the parents", hilarity ensues.
Its good, actually its better than that, its at least as good as the
first. The cheese factor is turned right up but for some reason it really
works. And laugh? Yeah heaps of laughs, what they've done is taken little
slices from every fairy tale you can think of and bundled them all in. The
ugly step sister is my favourite "What can I get ya?", LOL.
What is better than the first is the animation, wow, its spectacular to
say the least. At one point I thought I was watching actual footage. Keep an
eye out for the body guards in the carriage, amazing.
Worth watching and then some
3 and a half stars |
Sideways
Stars: Paul Giamatti, Thomas Haden Church
Director: Alexander Payne
Titbits: Just after this film was released in the States,
sales of Pinot Noir rose 20% over the xmas/new year period as compared with
the previous years figures. Told ya, it makes you want to drink wine! |
Add this to a steadily growing
list of A+ movies that step outside the pigeon holes. I’m putting it with
the likes of The Safety Of Objects, Lost In Translation and
Closer, all great films that deserve your attention.
It’s a romantic/comedy/drama following Miles and Jack, two middle aged
best friends who take a trip into California’s wine country for a week to
celebrate Jack’s impending wedding; a mature bucks party if you will. Jack’s
lovable, cheery, devil-may-care attitude to life is Miles’ complete
opposite; a self deprecating pessimist whose sees every situation and
opportunity as doomed to failure and misery.
Jack’s intentions aren’t clear until they are well into their first meal.
He plans to bed the next beautiful woman he finds in a last hurrah before
tying the knot. Miles’ discord isn’t enough, however, to stop Jack’s
behaviour, and so he goes along with it for as long as he can stand. Thing
is, he happens to run into someone on their travels who is by far his equal
in knowledge of wine, but more so, likes him. Can Miles put aside every
negative thought he’s ever held about life, for just once, to see if this
works out? Hijinks ensue.
Sideways’ real appeal comes in the characters; very earthy, very
realistic. The relationship Jack and Miles share is one that we’ve all had
at one time or another. I related given I’ve been on both sides of it.
Further, this take on the holiday romance cliché is about as real as I’ve
seen it put to film. The internal sparring Miles does in with himself, the
fresh lovers who’ve fallen so fast for each other that they’ve all but
forgotten it will end, and the nervous twitchings of a mutual bond that
while noted, is ignored out of self-preservation. And that ending…!
It’s a great flick, engrossing, engaging, complete with connective
characters and set against the backdrop of some of California’s magnificent
wine country. A word of warning after watching this film: it’s possible you
may learn something about wine, but its definite you will want to drink
some!
4 stars |
The Sin Eater
Stars: Heath Ledger
Director: Brian Helgeland
Titbits: The original visual effects were said to have been
re-done because they were unintentionally humorous - they resembled
calamari. |
The coolest thing about this movie
is that the pivotal character to the film is acted by Benno Furmann!
Go Benno! I'm not big on religious flicks and don't like choosing them,
but this came recommended so I gave it a shot. Can't say I was overly
impressed aside from - and this even surprised me - some of the religious
mythology being quite intriguing.
Alex Bernier (Ledger), a member of an oft scorned faction by the catholic
church, gets sent to Rome to investigate the death of the head of his order.
He finds more than he bargained for when, after renouncing his priesthood,
he is offered a legacy that will last forever.
For the most part this is really boring. We get glimpses of the dark
forces that manipulate the people in the film, but otherwise we have to put
up with a far-too-young-for-a-priest looking Ledger grapple with the love of
his work, and the love of his life. What to do, oh dear.
As the movie heads towards its close though, we finally get to meet the
mysterious man behind the hoohar and the legend that precedes him, and its a
great little myth that is really well explored...but yeah, the challenge is
staying awake long enough to get that far.
I'm not sure what sort of mood you'd have to be in but give it a shot if
you're into a bit of left wing catholic mythology a la Stigmata,
End Of Days and The Exorcist.
3 stars |
Some Kind Of Monstor
Stars: Metallica
Director: Joe Berlinger, Bruce Sinofsky
Titbits: This was originally planned to be a VH1 style
series akin to the Osbournes. But Metallica decided that wasn't a
direction they wanted to go, so they bought the rights back and made what
you see here. Choice move bro! |
Forget the fact this is a rock,
nay metal band for a few minutes and imagine what it would be like if your
working family had a few problems that needed patching up. Then imagine this
working family are the biggest in their field and the fan-base pressure that
precedes them is unbearable to the point where they can't stand each other.
Then film it.
I wanted to watch it all over again when it finished, but luckily I had
something like two hours worth of extra interviews and exerpts from the
filming of the documentary to get through so I can save a second viewing for
another time...when I buy it!
Yes I'm biased because Metallica happen to be one of my favourite bands,
but as I said before, it doesn't matter who they are in the sense of this
doco. Its real human drama captured with the gloss taken off and the
personalities stripped back. Yes, Lars sells off his art collection for
several million dollars at auction at one point, but the truth is these guys
are just like you and I, they're struggling to get out of bed to get to work
every day.
For the Metallica fans out there, watch for appearances by Dave Mustaine
and Jason Newstead; the Mustaine conversation is awesome!
It hasn't made me any less of a fan, wonder if it'll earn them some new
ones.
4 stars |
Spartan
Stars: Val Kilmer
Director: David Mamet
Titbits: Waste of time! |
Just when I thought "Taking Lives"
was the most boring, over-rated slice of Hollywood schlock I'd ever seen,
along came Spartan. No story, no consistency, no vibe, no nothing. And
that's all the time I shall spend telling you about it. In other words,
don't see it!
0 stars |
Spiderman 2
Stars: Toby Maguire, Kirsten Dunst
Director: Sam Raimi
Titbits: Filming actually began on Spiderman 2 before an
official script had been completed. Telling you anything? |
I didn't mind the first one so
while I haven't rushed out to see this, I was hopeful for another nice slice
of escapism. I'm a little hazy on the content - which should go some
way to telling you how good it is - but in a word, this movie put me to
sleep. Much as I hate to chat about comic book adaptation ad infinitum, as
one does, I've just gotta say this:
The current market saturation is encouraging studios to pump them out
without putting too much thought into them. Of course it goes back to
demand. So where is the demand coming from? Well aside from the
elder-geek population whose goal in life is to track down Double Action
Comics #2 hidden in the nearest thrift store, we're talking about 8-14 year
olds with mum and dad's money.
So lets go back to when we were kids, and not so much comics, but
cartoons were the thing, and they were the version of
comic-book-come-to-life for us. And when we watched, say, Spiderman,
it was all about tingling spider-senses and going the bungee from one
building to the next in hot pursuit of some whacked out villain. Not
delivering pizzas to earn a crust and not being able to tell your girlfriend
you love them.
Dichotomy! Are we to believe that our current crop of 8-14 year
olds really want to watch Spiderman struggle to make rent, rather than watch
him get web happy with Acid Man and his minions? Now this may be true
of the comics as opposed to the cartoon versions; a true adaptation.
Then we're saying that our 8-14 year olds are in fact more in touch with
reality, so the adaptations have to mature in order to keep up with them.
I can believe both in small doses but can't convince myself of either.
This is a generation of X-Box kids lets face it. So since when did
X-Box deal with personal finances and getting in touch with one's feelings?
Must be that hidden level in Halo 2.
Conclusion! Comic book adaptations aren't for me, I can't recall
ever seeing a really good one. Thus I won't be reviewing any more
because you guys out there are probably into them and while opinions are
arseholes, I don't think can ever be objective.
No rating |
Starsky & Hutch
Stars: Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Vince Vaughn
Director: Todd Phillips
Titbits: One of my new favourite movies in the whole world
at the moment is Old School, also starring Vince Vaughn and Owen
Wilson's brother Luke. Even cooler, the mansion that is owned by
Vince's character in this flick, was their frat house in Old School.
On a similar tangent, Vaughn and Stiller also star in Dodgeball,
and Snoop Dog does cameo's in both Old School and Starsky & Hutch. |
I really didn't know what to make
of this. Its classic Stiller, that's for sure, but one minute they're
taking it pretty seriously, the next its out on that Stiller limb. So,
so dry, you really have to be into Stiller to get into this somehow. I
think we all know the cops from the 70's show, or at least have heard of
them, so I won't go down that road. Suffice it to say its paying
homage to their nuances from all their shows crammed into one. I
wasn't that big a fan I must admit, I was a C.H.I.P.S. guy. Still, I
was interested to see what Stiller would do with it.
Speaking of Stiller, isn't he just in everything at the moment!?!
Check this:
 | Meet The Fockers |
| Sledge: The Story of Frank Sledge |
| Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy |
| Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story |
| Envy |
| Starsky & Hutch |
| Along Came Polly |
And that's just this year kids. Whether its been bit parts or
starring roles, each of these features already have been, or will be,
released this year (in the States).
Sorry, tangent, so this movie is a weird one. Owen Wilson, he's
just priceless no matter what he does, remember his role in Behind Enemy
Lines? Great action flick, but he put his quirky little spin on
his character...
You know that sums up this movie pretty well actually. Everything
in this flick reminds me of work that was done in another flick, either by
the actor or the situation. Yeah, its not good, its not bad, its just
bland.
Best line is just after Starsky inadvertently takes a crap load of
cocaine, and doesn't know it:
Girl: Are you ok?
Starsky: I'm good I'm good, a little paranoid but otherwise
just really, really pumped up!
3 stars |
The Stepford Wives
Stars: Nicole Kidman, Mathew Broderick
Director: Frank Oz
Titbits: Tim Burton was apparently tapped to direct this in
its early stages. Now THAT would've been something to see <sigh> |
A rather disturbing tale of
reverse psychology politics; the battle of the sexes continues. Based on the
1975 original, I'm quite sure it was designed to be more suspenseful to what
the outcome belies, and goes some way to proving that for the most part,
originals should be left alone.
Joanna Eberhart is fired from her role as a leading bull-headed TV
Network Executive and hits the skids with a nervous breakdown. Faithful
hubby Walter Kresby quits his role as Vice President of the same network,
packs up the frazzled Joanna and the kids and they move to Stepford. And
doesn't Stepford seem perfect, perhaps too perfect. And those wives...
This is a fabulous looking flashback to the 70s' homogenised depiction of
the 50's and its pastels and paisleys, "a world of tuxedos and chiffon". Its
like a wicked cross between The Brady Bunch and The Ghost and Mrs Muir, all
set in something built by Matel. Great looking sets needless to say.
Kidman's quite ok here, but Broderick's not only not stretched, he's done
nothing, drawing inspiration from a game of chess in the park...with
himself. Have a think about any movie he's been in, and his character gets a
surprise; you know that wide-eyed-closed-mouth look he gets? Well here he
goes again. And just when his character gets to sprout its wings a little,
back in he reels it, even the worst actors do something with nothing...the
jury will ignore that last comment. Jon Lovitz is fast approaching worst
actor status, who involves this guy, and why, he must give great head!
So to the movie and its not bad, though as previously mentioned, its
lacking the intended suspense - there's nothing more annoying than the
sudden loud burst of operatic music only to be let down by anti-climax
visuals. Leaves me pretty bummed anyway. But its got that tinge of
light-hearted creepiness, if you know what I mean, you sit there smiling but
thinking 'gee this is uncomfortable'. Nice. It goes the
distance complete with a twist, and the moral? Well boys, you'll just have
to go see it for yourselves, made it all worth while.
3 stars |
Stuck On You
Stars: Matt Damon, Greg Kinnear
Director: Bobby and Peter Farrelly
Titbits: Dr Ben Carson is a real-life doctor who is world
renowned for successfully separating conjoined twins. He and his
family make an uncredited appearance in the film. |
Hard to tell if this film was
trying to be funny or serious. It succeeds in doing both and despite losing
continuity in places - literally leaving the viewer behind emotionally - its
a top flick.
Bob and Walt are conjoined twins living in a small coastal town living
the good life. They're local icons and highly respected in their community.
One day Walt decides he wants to pursue an acting career and they move to
L.A. in pursuit of Walt's dream. Success, failure, luck and romance all
follow, but will they be together to the end.
In this politically correct day and age, its not surprising that no
matter who the Twins encounter, the fact they're conjoined isn't an issue
compared to whatever else is on the table. Which is great because we can get
on with exploring the lives of conjoined twins and how they deal with every
day things we take for granted. Some of it is hilarious - the boxing scene
is a total pisser, as is the bedroom scene - but then some of it feels down
right self destructive, mean and just plain sad. That's all good and well in
a movie, but it can switch from spectrum of emotion to its opposite in a
matter of frames and we're left laughing at something we shouldn't, or vice
versa. Its a little off-putting at times.
Damon's great, he's got great control over every mood he acts, and he's
genuinely funny which we haven't seen much of so far in his career. Kinnear
is another good all rounder but his "funny" isn't everyone's funny and the
material is complimentary. Together with a well written script, the Farrelly
Bros have created a movie that generates the true feelings for the
characters that they are asking for.
This won't be everyone's cup of tea from the surface, I think there'll be
a lot of people who will see "making fun of someone's disability", which
couldn't be further from the truth. This comes with no disclaimer, I think
its one of the better feel-good movies of the decade so far.
3 and a half stars |
Super Size Me
Stars: Morgan Spurlock
Director: Morgan Spurlock
Titbits: Where to start!?! I don't want to give away
too much because this flick is very stat-reliant, but I'll drop you this:
This movie had the highest opening gross for a documentary EVER in Australia
when it opened, earning AU$1 Million in its first two weeks of release.
Do we love Americans or what!!! LOL |
Yuck! American's are sick! And
fat, but mostly sick! I was almost as physically ill as our hero Morgan
Spurlock eating his double quarter pounder with cheese, super sized! I've
been hanging out for this for a while, mostly to see if the guy survived. I
mean we all probably heard recently of some bloke here in Australia who
watched the movie, believed Macca's new "healthy" range was all good and
spent three months eating nothing but to prove Morgan wrong and lost
weight...but what they didn't tell you (in true current affair style) is
that the Aussie guy did do exercise.
Morgan is quite clear in what he is trying to prove, and that is simply:
If you eat as much crap as the average American does, without doing any
exercise like the average American does, well you're in for more just an
expanded waste line and a few pimples. He is unequivocal about it in fact,
to the point of getting the real stats on how much walking the average
American does during any given day, and then sticking to it with a step
counter. Something like 2500 steps, which equates to 1 mile or something.
Probably the distance spent walking between the kitchen and the lounge room.
Most appealing about this docu-drama are the many interviews with experts
from all walks of the food and health industries, and the extras are good
though lacking; don't miss The Smoking Fry! Get this though: Morgan's
girlfriend is a vegan. Awesome!
Don't just watch it because it makes fun of Americans and their eating
habits; don't just watch it because it shows us exactly what junk food in
large doses will do to your body; don't even watch it if you are just
curious about the fast food industry and its tactics; watch it for all of
the above and marvel at how this blokes survives it. Will you eat Macca's
after this? Whose up for a Sausage, Egg & Cheese McGriddle?
4 stars |
Taken
Stars: Loads of people
Director: Breck Eisner
Titbits: Each story-line has been taken (gafaw!) from actual
accounts from people who believe they've been abducted by aliens over the
years. |
Six-part series that takes the
4400 concept to the enth degree. Spielberg is at the helm and while the
quality of film and effects is there, I’m afraid its just boring. Slightly
intriguing are the family ties that run through the series, spanning almost
a century of ET hijinks; one running, one chasing, but both trying to work
it all out. We've gotten through four of the episodes, I slept through three
of them, something is drawing Stace into completing it "just to see what
happens". Hope that helps translate its appeal in this house caus' I'm done.
2 stars |
Taking Lives
Stars: Angelina Jolie, Ethan Hawke, Kiefer Sutherland
Director:
Titbits: There is nothing interesting about this movie. Nothing! |
I tried writing and re-writing a
review for this flick, something that would really point out how bad it
is, but it was all a waste of pixels. Then Stu sent me something
that totally blew me away. So I'll just play off that.
The Sydney Morning Herald wrote:
"A superior psychological thriller." ... "Taking Lives
takes us on a full-on thrilling ride filled with twists and interesting
bumps along the way."
And this describing Ang's opening scene, written by a woman whether
that interests you or not: "She is shot in profile, with her
extraordinary lush lips showcased like perfectly formed mountain slopes
on the horizon."
I say:
Lucky Angie got her tits out, shit on me this was terrible! The only
thing superior about this flick was how strongly it contends for worst
movie EVER made. And what's with the second comment up there, wow,
this chick's writing a Pulitzer or something. Its a movie review
lady, not short stories 101. By the way the "interesting bumps along
the way" are merely your head hitting the back of the seat after you
fall asleep. Yes, I fell asleep during this. Here's
something you probably don't know, but I have never fallen asleep during
a movie at the cinema, not once.
See it if you're researching how not to make a movie.
0 stars
|
The Terminal
Stars: Tom Hanks, Catherine Zeta-Jones
Director: Steven Spielberg
Titbits: From IMDB.com: "Inspired by the story of
Merhan Nasseri, an Iranian refugee. In 1988, he landed at Charles de Gaulle
Airport near Paris after being denied entry into England because his
passport and United Nations refugee certificate had been stolen. French
authorities would not let him leave the airport, and there stayed, in
Terminal One, a stateless person with nowhere else to go. He has since been
granted permission to either enter France or return to his own country. He
instead chooses to continue to live in the terminal and tell his story to
those who will listen." Something tells me the actual true story
would've been much more interesting to watch. |
Spielberg and Hanks are at it
again. Hanks is quite obviously on the trail of another Oscar
nomination I'm sure the feelgood nature of the story appealed to both of
them. But its turned into a really, really crap film. Based on true
events, Victor Navorski (Hanks) arrives at JFK international airport with
the intention of visiting New York City. While his motivations,
initially, are as unclear as his English accent, we learn why later on.
Meanwhile, during his flight, his native country of Krakozia (sp?) has
fallen into civil war and is no longer recognised by the US as a country,
thus nullifying his passport and visa. So with the paranoid
by-the-book head of security pointing out to Victor that he may not leave
the airport, he takes up residence in the unfinished Gate 67 - the only
limbo available to him - while he waits for someone from somewhere to do
something about it. Sentimental hijinks ensue.
Snore. What a bore of a film. Hanks is pretty good as the
non-English speaking Navorski though nothing you wouldn't expect. I'm
not a fan of Hanks as a rule and I find him forever on the hunt for awards,
at least it seems that way to me. Philadelphia, fine, good effort,
same goes for Saving Private Ryan, but the rest I can take or leave.
Hanks draws a lot from his Forrest Gump and blends it in with the
sensibilities of Carl Hanratty to bring Navorski out, and while it comes
across ok, its a bit done.
Spielberg should take a good look at what he's done there though.
If it wasn't for Steve I think this might've come out a bit better.
Its swamped with morals and anecdotes of "a better time" and the happy
ending makes you feel really sick. It looks like he's trying to take a
bit of a poke at the US's heightened paranoia of immigration as well but I'm
neither here nor there on it, they'll do what they want regardless of how
anyone else sees it.
And that little gigantically out of place Tiananmen Square re-enactment,
what was that all about? A man and a mop forcing a plane to stop being
paralleled with a student and a fleet of tanks in response to the massacre
of hundreds of peaceful protestors in a repugnant show of strength?
Whoa, step back Steve, you are out of line right there. Something to
do with the People's Republic of China's birthday coming up you think?
I'm really angry that scene was put in, that was one of the most careless
and unnecessary pieces of cinema I have ever witnessed, that ranks next to
Irreversible's up-close-and-personal-ten-minute rape of a woman, and that
was for the sake of art.
Hanks needs new material, Spielberg needs a holiday, and Jones, well she
should just fire her manager.
1 star |
Thunderstruck
Stars: Damon Gameau
Director: Darren Ashton
Titbits: |
After five friends, and fellow
band mates, attend the Sydney concert from the '91 AC/DC tour, they make a
pact that whoever dies first, the other four will bury him next to Bon Scott
in Fremantle Cemetery. 12 years on and the boys have grown apart, all living
their own disenchanted lives, when one of them is killed in a freak accident
- struck by lightening. At the wake, the two members who actually turn up
hatch a plan to follow through on their pact, and they set out to gather up
the other two and head to the other side of the country, all the while
coming to terms with the people they have become as individuals, and trying
to patch together what they once had as friends.
Another of those great potential, shithouse execution stories that
falls flatter than the Aussie deserts the lads drive across. Let me start
with the accuracy of what they're trying to tell us. First of all, we're
introduced to the lads banging their heads at the front of the stage in the
Sydney Entertainment Centre. I was looking forward to this scene, because I
was there! Me, Stu and Kendall made that faithful pilgrimage to the Ent-Cent
via Oxford Street's YWCA and Brighton Hotel, only to have our heads blown
clean off by one of the greatest rock bands in huge form. Woooooow! Lets do
that again!
Now I thought here, at least, they might've grabbed some real footage,
perhaps the band - in a dwindling career move - might've let them use some
real footage, just to give it that extra oomph. But no, it was all a put on,
but that's ok as they still made a decent fist of it. I guess I held out
some hope that out of all the movies I've seen and all the scenarios they've
played out, here I was finally going to see one where I could say "I was
there!" Ah well.
So the concert was re-enacted, fine, probably in the too hard basket, but
in the very next scene they've got shots of people streaming out of the
concert, and the lads chatting as they walk down the stairs. And do you
think they could actually use the real Sydney Entertainment Centre for these
shots? Not too big an ask I would think? Nope, looks like some metal stairs
that run down from one of those portable school classrooms.
If I'm giving the impression that they skimped on authenticity, then lets
put it into perspective. This movie goes a long way to maintain AC/DC
history and authenticity, yet falls over with the above example among
others. So while Dave Evans is correctly named the original lead singer as
well as other trivia along the way, they insist that Bon Scott's ashes were
scattered across Fremantle Cemetery, and claim he was not buried at all. Not
true according to the first 50 hits when Googled! Another little titbit is
the boys claim that the last AC/DC song they ever listened to together was
the last song of the concert in '91; "Thunderstruck". Not so, they opened
with that song, and closed with "For Those About To Rock". So as you can
see, they've gone down Authentic Fact Road, taken a left at Not Sure
Junction onto Bullshit Boulevard and ruined a really really good story. For
me anyway. Oh and lets not forget that little moment at the end of the
flick with the Premier of WA Geoff Gallop, who was as close to being Premier
as I was back in '91.
On to the movie side of things, Stephen Curry has a pretty unique brand
of humour and its stamped all over this. Nothing against that Curry
finesse, but there's a place for it and its not here. You can't help feeling
that its anther Castle or Nugget or Wog Boy, which is a shame because Damon
Gameau, Ryan Johnson and Callan Mulvey have that great raw Aussie actor
edge. And Sam Worthington as the kill-off, well he's the cream of the crop
when it comes to our young Aussie screen icons, so that's a real shame. Kill
off Nugget Boy and turn it into a gritty Australian drama instead of this
painfully try-hard quirk fest and you've kicked a goal. Alas, we end up with
flat, humourless dialogue, and Nugget Boy's vibe running through the whole
thing. Even the ambient music reeks of Nugget Boy.
I've had more fun contemplating lying in front of a slow moving
18-wheeler to see which organs crush first.
1 star |
Torque
Stars: Martin Henderson, Ice Cube
Director: Joseph Kahn
Titbits: There's this super duper bike in the movie with a
helicopter engine in it. Sounds as ridiculous as the rest of the movie
doesn't it...but this baby actually exists. The bike is literally
powered by a refurbished helicopter jet turbine. Fuck that! Its
more common to find them in cars and boats apparently. No shit! |
Ok I'm surprised I even picked
this up. This is in the same league as Bikerboyz - and there was very little
chance of me even looking at that one. Fast and the Furious has a lot to
answer for. So where do I start, this is pretty shocking stuff.
Well, I actually got to the end of it, WOW, I think it was out of sheer
wonderment of how much worse it could get. The first 20 minutes looks like
an R'n'B film clip; scantily clad women all pouting in sync and having water
poured over them. What the...? So the movie goes on, something about an
outlaw type biker dude whose been MIA for a while, comes back to make things
right. Lots of riding, Ice Cube trying not to laugh while he sneers, too
many people taking it waaaaay too seriously. Should we throw in another
cliché? Yeah why the hell not, that's part of the action movie formula
right? Suuuuuuuuure.
Despite how bad this flick is - and there aren't words to describe how
bad it really is - lead actor, Aussie Martin Henderson of "Home and Away"
fame, is pretty good. Its not hard to see that with some decent material
behind him he could go places in Hollywood. Unfortunately this is barely an
ink smudge on his resume so he will be overlooked.
Something that didn't go unnoticed was the homage it pays to "The Fast
And The Furious", and the opening scene and its effects are practically a
carbon copy of the opening race scene in said flick. An absolute classic
though are the lines:
Ford - "I live my life a quarter mile at a time."
Shane - "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard!"
Ringing bells? Truer words have never been spoken.
Half a star...JUST! |
Transformers
Stars: Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox
Director: Michael Bay
Titbits: The original actor who voiced Optimus Prime in the
original 1984 cartoon series is used to voice Optimus Prime in the movie.
Awesome! Also, Megan Fox, is actually a fox. Neat! |
Awesome! AWESOME! LOOOOOOOOOVED
this movie! Right out of the gates its big, loud, fast, its so hectic its
hard to keep up with. There's no faffing about with semantics, its
start-to-finish film making at a hundred miles an hour.
We all know the storyline, we all know why they're here, we all know...but
wait, no we don't. Lets pay attention. That's what I found myself thinking
as the first five minutes roared at me from corner of the lounge room. Hhmm,
why are they here...how come Bumblebee's on his own, where's...oooohhhh. So
how come...oooohhhhhh. All the way through it I kept talking to myself in
this gibberish. Fortunately Stace had fallen asleep so I didn't have to
worry about driving her batty.
The story, according to Wikipedia, goes: Transformers is a 2007 live action
film adaptation of the Transformers franchise. The film stars Shia LaBeouf
as Sam Witwicky, a teenager involved in a war between the heroic Autobots
and the evil Decepticons: two races of alien robots who can disguise
themselves by transforming into everyday machinery. The Decepticons desire
control of the Allspark, the object that created their robotic race, with
the intention of using it to build an army by giving life to the machines of
Earth.
And with the exception of a few bytes of bad dialogue this has been done
really well. You can feel Spielberg's influence all over the place (he
produced), that familiar adventure energy covering everything we see and
hear. The action is non-stop, as in barely a moment to take a breath, and
the action is big too. Some of the army toys show-cased early on in the film
beggar belief, "Bring the rain!" says one dude, hell yeah bring it all!
Interestingly the army toys and extras in the movie are all the fair dinkum
article with the army agreeing to allow their machinery and troops to be
filmed for the movie.
Shia's great, Megan's HOT, the staff bumbling around the government offices
are priceless and the army's "oorah!" antics are kept to a minimum, I just
wish it was real and I was there! Just what all us Saturday-cartoon-kids
have been hanging out for all these years. Sequel scheduled for 2009,
yeeeeehaaaahhhh!!!
4 and a half stars |
Troy
Stars: Brad Pitt, Eric Bana
Director: Wolfgang Petersen
Titbits: Oh my lord, director Petersen "dropped the various
Greek Gods from the storyline (Zeus, etc) claiming them to be silly and
unnecessary to the plot." This movie just lost its 1 star! He
even made some characters up, what the...? Its official, nothing is
sacred. |
There's no sarcasm in Greek
Mythology! Adonises they may have been, sarcastic they were not, especially
the King of Kings! What a mockery they've made of this wonderful tale of
kings and queens and warriors and creatures and heroism. We all know the
story, at least most of the sum of its parts, but these people have taken
for granted that we're all twits without a cultural brain in our bodies.
Well, in the immortal words of Andrew Dice Clay..."Hey, sucka my..."
Eric Bana couldn't decide if he should speak in English, Australian,
Ocker Australian, or some hybrid between South African and Welsh. Shocking.
This was a really hard film to take seriously. On the plus side,
there's...there's no plus side. This movie is just plain dumb.
My most unfavoured moment in recent cinema history:
Achilles: "You must go."
Briseis looks on longingly
Achilles: "You must go."
Achilles: "Go now."
Briseis looks on longingly
Achilles: "Go."
Paris: "We must go."
Achilles: "Its ok, go now."
Paris: "We must go."
Briseis looks on longingly
Achilles: "You must go, go now."
...and on and on and on and on and on...
1 star 0 stars
|