Some lightening fast movie reviews for you:

The Bourne Identity - stars Matt Damon

Made me want to watch it again straight away, my only complaint would be a couple of moments where nothing happens and people stare at eachother, I mean c'mon there's no time for that shit! The book is better (and a recommended read) but I give it 4 and a half stars, don't miss it on the big screen.

XXX - stars Vin Diesel

Lets think of every popular extreme sport, film the dudes who do it with some classy equipment, then stick a storyline on it somehow. I inwardly laughed when the dirt bikes came out, inwardly in that Stace was really enjoying it and I didn't want any balloons going pop. Beautifully filmed, some specky scenes, great sound track (!), think Hollywood-Bond and you're there. Sequel will start filming next year ;) 3 stars

O - stars Josh Harnett

Young rich spoilt people trying to do eachother over, terribly naive this bunch is too. Watch this only if the pliers you planned to use when pulling your fingernails out with just aren't rusty enough yet - 1 and a half stars

Bandits - stars Bruce Willis, Billy Bob Thornton, Kate Blanchett

Billy-Bob doing the Woody "Whiney" Allen thing, VERY annoying, very passable movie however. Bruce rocks in his usual laid back "lucky I get paid for this crap, I'm so bored" way - if his body was put through an industrial mulcher and they only recovered his little toe, he'd still out-class anyone in Hollywood today! Think "The Whole 9 Yards" crossed with...actually style-wise thats a pretty good match. But the sound in this thing is truly annoying, an ambulence crashes at one point, sounds like my cat walking across a carpetted area of the living room. 3 and a half stars.

The Heist - stars Gene Hackman, Danny de Vito

(sorry Heegs, I called it The Seige yesterday, its not The Seige, lol) Gene has turned into a hack, Danny has turned into B-grade sellout, the rest of them just brushed up on their metaphors. Two thing really annoyed me about this flick, firstly I'm deadly serious when I say the entire cast of characters speaks in metaphors the whole movie, not once ounce of regular English phrasing is used. They can't even say "G'day mate", the convo would be something like: Actor A: "Long time between drinks" Actor B: "You know what they say, you can lead a horse to water..." Actor C: "When you're done pissing in my pocket..." F*&^ing terrible. Okay annoying point number 2, ever watched a movie where some of the scenes are completely void of background music or ambiance? This one does it, I mean there's this really tense gun battle toward the end, not a sound in the background to build things up, John Woo will crucify this guy when he gets a hold of him! It just becomes a bunch of guys running around shooting guns, very unimpactish...is that a word? Ah, couldn't be worse than the writers of this movie. Coolest quote however was "She could talk her way out of sunburn", that's cool, but not behind about a million others before it. 2 and a half stars.

Rollerball - seen the original? I have, great flick, James Caan in one of the better sci-fi action films to some out of the 70's. The only thing I've seen come close to the concept is Salute Of The Jugger, which is pretty entertaining too I've gotta admit, but not as good as the original. Anyhoo, so they remade it, and it stinks. It stinks like week old prawns left in the sun (I could've written The Heist don't you think???). Chris "American Pie" Klein is no good at being serious and intense and all that, LL Cool J still hasn't got over the fact that Any Given Sunday has finished filming, and Jean "The Professional" Reno just should've said no. Any cred he had was mistaken for last night's garbage and tossed. I won't even try and explain it, just don't see it. Half a star.