Morning all, just thought I'd air some thoughts on my latest no-life experience in front of the idiot box, its a mixed bag, mostly comedy actually which surprises even me. There's a few to get through so I'll keep them as brief as possible...

Original Sin - stars Antonio Banderas and Angelina Jolie

Wow, do you think this was simulated? Angelina'a never been scared to take a part seriously, and this is no exception. I hate to sound like I'm concentrating on the sex scene here, but I'm gonna concentrate on the sex scene. There are a couple in this flick actually, but its the first one that raises the eyebrow. Now anyone that knows me knows that my affinity with a bit of porn now and then makes any "simulated" sex scene look like kindergarten, however, I'm taken aback right here.

Ok firstly, ever wondered what was underneath all those outfits in Tomb Raider? Ta daaahhhh! So anyway, there's all this blah blah, and then they get down to business, and if this ain't the real thing then its pretty damn close. I mean Angelina's hooters get that wobble thing going, and you can see Antonio getting shagger's back half way through, go hard son! Wonder if there were any respective others keeping an eye out on set when this was shot. Super effort guys.

Now the movie, well the movie sucked, something about a guy who mail-orders a bride, she turns out to be someone else and takes all his money and disappears, he sets off to find her and kill her, but he loves her and oh dilemma. Yeah, its pretty crap. But like "Wild Orchid", "9 1/2 Weeks" and "The Getaway" before it, you really do wonder how close they came to not simulating their trist for authenticity's sake. 2 stars.

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back - stars Jason Mewes, Kevin Smith...the cameo list goes on and on

This is ok, its nothing super, I think if I was 15 I would've enjoyed it more. The worst part of the movie is actually Jay and Silent Bob. It should be Jay and Not Nearly As Silent As We're Led To Believe Bob, but we should all be used to this by now. In fact at one stage Bob up and yells at Jay caus' Jay's stupid...duh!!! I could've told you that three movies ago Bob, sort your shit out! Its actually the one bit of relief from Jay's gibberish, you sit back and sigh after Bob yells at him, caus' that's all you feel like doing.

The incredibly thin plot goes along the lines of...some hollywood producer decides to make a film based on the comic book Bluntman and Chronic - these characters are based on Jay and Silent Bob. Jay and Silent Bob find out that they're due royalties but aren't getting paid, so they decide to travel to hollywood and shut the movie down. Ugh, whatever.

The cool parts in this flick are the cameos, in fact if you took Jay and Bob out, you'd have a pretty cool comedy. Ben Affleck takes the piss, he and Matt Damon set up a nice little piss-take on themselves which is a laugh, and one of the cooler scenes involves James Van Der Beek (what kind've name is that anyway?) and Jason Biggs, my sentiments exactly! Old-timers Judd Nelson, Carrie Fisher and Mark Hamill play nice little roles, and a plethora of hollywood's who's who chime in a la Zoolander including Shannon "Schwing" Doherty, Wes Craven and Gus Van Sant. Chris Rock's part isn't long enough as the director with a chip on his shoulder, and Will Ferrell is a scream as the Federal Wild Life Marshall. And Eliza "the other slayer" Dushku looks awsome in a cat suit, probably my favourite cameo of all, fwoar!

In short, nah, don't bother, Kevin Smith shouldn't have put his name on this. You're better off seeing all of his previous work three more times each before this. For Eliza in the catsuit, it gets 2 stars.

Kung Pow: Enter The Fist - stars Steve Oedekerk

I had a good vibe about this, I wasn't exactly sure what it was all about, but the previews looked pretty funny. I was in the mood for something silly so I had to pick this up. Trouble is, I found myself laughing out loud at points, and then questioning why I had.

This is actually the 1976 classic "Savage Killers", and Steve Oedekerk who wrote, directed and starred in this, has spliced in the modern characters and overdubbed all the original voices for...er...comedic effect. So you've actually got the original footage with new overdubs.

So the question is, is this meant to be satirical? I think that was the aim. Remember Monkey, when the english dubs didn't quite fit the way the characters' mouths moved, yet for some reason it worked in that bad 70's low-tech era? Well he's taken that to the extreme, and thrown in some slapstick as well. I can't really go into it, there'd be too much to cover, but worst of all I can't work out whether I liked it or hated it. I'm on the fence, and damn its uncomfortable!

Classic moments include the baby kicking everyone's ass in the beginning, that's quite funny, and the dog that seems to pop up every now and again, every time he barks, his head moves as if he's just barked, and then the delayed <woof> sounds out. The bad moments are the supposedly funny overdubs, they're actually quite annoying, especially the chick constantly going "willee willee willeeeeeeee". Interesting to note, Steve Oedekerk does all the overdubbed voices. After about five minutes I was actually thinking to myself "hang on, the same person is doing all those voices". Other interesting Steve Oedekerk points include his directoral history, "Ace Ventura - When Nature Calls" and "The Nutty Professor II: The Klumps" - can anyone say...sequal?!?

I hit the nail on the head in the first paragraph, this is just silly, and YES, I did genuinely laugh at parts, and I didn't hate it but am confused as to whether I actually liked it...hhmm, 2 stars.

Domestic Disturbance - stars John Travolta, Vince Vaughn

Surprisingly good! I was waiting for a by-the-numbers lets stick to the formula type hollywood thriller. But no, although I was lying back in bed munching on CC's, I actually found myself on the edge of my seat. What we have is the divorced parents of a young son, who every time something significant happens between the parents, he goes nuts and breaks something. Functional family in a nutshell. Mother decides remarrying the new boyfriend is the go, son witnesses something he shouldn't have with the new boyfriend/fiance and decides to tell all. Never cry wolf young man.

So the police aren't convinced, his mother isn't convinced, the fiance IS convinced but threatens to kill everyone if he insists on telling these stories. Dad on the other hand believes everything because "my son never lies to me", and its stacks on the mill with intrigue and second-guessing as we head toward climax city.

Vince Vaughn plays the archetypal psycho bad guy, he's brilliant. Anyone not convinced by this performance should go rent "Clay Pigeons" and watch it twice in a row. Actually do that anyway, its a better movie, but I digress. John is actually ok, I get shivers of Phenomenon watching him here, he didn't have to stretch to play the part, but having said that he did what was necessary and did it well. Probably pulled his neck off the chopping block after some of his recent disasters. Steve Buschemi chimes in with a nice cameo too, Steve's a class act when it comes to being bad.

It rocks on at a good pace, answers all the questions, its slickly produced, and finishes nice and abruptly as a good ending should. 3 and a half stars.

Corky Romano - stars Chris Kattan

Ok this guy is an acquired taste. "A Night At The Roxbury" is a classic in my opinion, I loved it. But Chris' character there was fairly, er, regular, for use of a better word. He's just out and out cooky here, and to a certain extent it works, but at other times it a bit annoying. Ever get the feeling in a movie that they just let that scene drag on a bit long? Yeah, that happens here too.

Corky is the forgotten member of the crime family Romano, but they're in trouble and need someone undercover to infiltrate the FBI, steal back the evidence against the family, and hence the case will have to be dropped. Enter Corky Romano, vetinary nurse and big fan of everyone just getting along. You can see where things are gonna go pear shaped here.

Best characters in this are the FBI guys, they're all straight laced and hard lined, raised eyebrow and all. Classic stuff. And when you put that up against Corky and his fumbling bumbling no-idea ways, well you get the picture. Best bits include the cocaine bag exploding into Corky's face and what happens to him afterwards, you've never seen a speach to school children like it, and anything to do with Corky's brother Peter (Sean Penn), who's latent homosexual tendancies make him angry from time to time. Worst bits are when dumb scenes get played out too long.

Its an everyone lives happily ever after part slapstick part something else comedy that works when it works and fails when it don't. Gave me a few laughs though. 2 and a half stars.

Phew, that'll do for one weekend I think, maybe I needs to get me a life...

BH