Kissing Point 5, Lane Cove West 0

Today was hard work, as visits to Howson often seem to be. The local breeding produces generations of Dracula clones: huge limbs, big foreheads, no hair; trampling, machine-like on anything in their path. Such types are probably more likely to be effective at football than the Composers’ XI which Dave W ran through for us before the game. It began with Wagner in goal, as he was loud, aggressive and mad….! This led us to the biblical XI, for which, of course, there can only be one choice as keeper, since Jesus Saves (but St John knocks in the rebound, as the Liverpool graffiti used to read).

Dave W was, unusually, the only of our 4 Daves playing today. Dave L volunteered to play in the As. Dave C was injured last week, but Dave B came up with a new injury: pulled muscle whilst playing with his children!

These absences opened the way for two blasts from the past: Charlie who first played for us in 1982 (when the subs were $30, by the way) and Warwick whose debut was as recent as 1984. This was in a NSW Amateur Cup game at Villawood, as I recall, when he was one of several ring-ins. We discovered to our horror that the local practice was for the captains, before the game, to check ID photos as they were held up by opposing players. Some of our ring-ins looked more like the photos of players present than the players themselves, so then needed to find photos that could conceivably relate to the latter. We bluffed our way through with comments like, “Isn’t it funny how no-one ever looks like his passport photo?” and, “Didn’t he look a lot younger before he shaved off the beard, and dyed his hair?”

Whilst we didn’t play in the over-35s in 1984, I’m sure Warwick wouldn’t mind me revealing that he was then eligible (or would have been, if registered!). Which leads me to another fascinating statistic that has escaped me until now: today - as most weeks - our team included players born in each of 4 decades. And if only we could get Norm (35 this year) to play for us, that would increase to 5.

Anyway, back in the here and now; it was hot again: will winter never come? The field that looked too big for the under-10s who were on before us seemed too big for us, too, as we ran all over it: mostly (not unlike the under-10s) chasing the ball.

The ploy of containment, with only me in attack, worked brilliantly for about 3 minutes, when the scoring started. The goals are now a bit of a blur, but I think the first one was a ball that both Dave & a defender went for, leaving the attacker with a clear shot (or was that the first goal in the A’s game?).

Not long after, a well placed corner was met by one of the afore-mentioned large foreheads (belonging to their Eric: not often you see 2 in one game). The downward header never gives the keeper much chance, and this one came down from about 12 feet up & 7 yards out, and bounced on its way in. The geometrically minded will doubtless be able to work out the minimum angle to the horizontal that it must have described as it came off his head. Easier to work out is that it was now

0-2.

The turning point came when we had a corner shortly after. An equally good kick (John, I think) hung invitingly for Martin C who launched himself at it perfectly. We still don’t know why it didn’t go in: everything seemed to be right, but what turned out to be our best chance of a goal came to nothing.

This is perhaps the time to recognise that one contributor to our odd run - now 9 games in a row in which not more than one side has scored - is that one of the sides that often doesn’t score is us! We’ve scored in only 2 of those 9 games (6 goals, though). And, as we’ve kept 4 clean sheets, including two 0-0s, we’ve lost “only” 5 of the 9.

And it’s odd that at the beginning of this run, last season, we had a 0-3, then 3-0, then 0-0, then 0-5; which is exactly how we have started this year. (0-4 was the end of the sequence last year: we must try very hard to avoid that next week!).

Two more goals followed. The details escape me, but it’s fair to say that they weren’t flukes, and they weren’t their only chances, and – though it hadn’t exactly been what we had in mind – containment to just the 4 goals at half-time was not a bad achievement.

As in several recent games, the defence was called on to work overtime, and the man-of-the-match voting reflected the sterling efforts, with Martin C & Tony being 2^nd & 3^rd respectively. But Peter narrowly won: for his ability to shield the ball, and find someone free, or (just occasionally) to loose off a shot. Bill had been injured early on, so Warwick was called on to fill in, and Steve & Martin P & Eric were all busy, too.

In the second half, we did well to hold them to just one more goal, and a penalty at that. A KP forward had turned brilliantly to beat one defender & set off across the area. He had, in fact, probably just lost control of the ball before Tony felled him, but that didn’t count in mitigation when the whistle (rightly) blew. The penalty was beautifully struck into the top right corner: 0-5.

And we had some moments of our own. Charlie rolled back the years with some runs up the right wing & centre. Mark S had a good first-time shot under pressure, that could easily have gone in, from a slick passing move and cross from the left.

But at the end of the day, the score didn’t lie. They were bigger and stronger and more skilful than us: which makes it OK that we lost, really (if you don’t think about for too long!).

Thanks this week to Tim for the beers; Paul for being linesman (& knowing the off-side rule!) even though he wasn’t fit to play; to Dave W for agreeing to be linesman at 3pm, then to go in goal for the As until Lucio arrived, then to stay in for the whole game; to John for then being lineman for the whole of the A’s game; and to Warwick & Charlie for filling in (& Gareth for collecting Charlie, & Stuart for taking him home, if we’re being complete). Hope I haven’t forgotten anyone.

Next week it’s Northbridge whom we beat twice last year. In fact, the second win was the last time we won in a game in which our opponents scored. (I hope this run finishes soon. We may be getting near the end of the interesting related facts. Or have passed it!)

MARK BRYANT