B GRADE MATCH REPORT

Lane Cove West (Over35) 3 - 0 Berwora (Over 35)

EXTRA EXTRA READ ALL ABOUT IT
Sneddon breaks drought as depth of squad is tested!!!!

A strange pitch greeted LCW as we arrived at Blackman. ( hold on haven’t we heard this before I hear you ask – you might notice 
a theme here I replied)  The normally Gobi Desert like appearance had been tempered by the recent rain ( it was a different drought 
that Sneddon broke ) and with it brought the promise of a gritty performance instead of a gritty sand bath. 

Up against the 5th place team curiously named Berowra while Berowra lingered above the sixth place team ( spotted it yet? ), it was 
always going to be tough as LCW have a history of losing against these guys no matter what form or divisional placing would suggest 
the result should be. 

The LCW team resembled nothing like it had in recent weeks as injuries and holidays required us to dig deep into the squad.  

Martin C decided to avoid confusion with the other Martin on the pitch by calling himself  Matt.  Mark B on his return from holiday 
also agreed to this new technique and called himself Andy L ( the L was to avoid confusion with Neil Fraser who for no reason at all,  
decided he wanted to be called Andy D for this game ).  Tim Cotsford (who was willing to experiment as well) plucked the moniker of 
Chris from the air as LCW tried to achieve a team sheet that had no duplicate names on it.  Obviously this influenced James Kissell 
as he changed his name to Mr. Tarquin Fintimlinbinwhinbimlim Bus Stop F'tang F'tang Ole Biscuit-Barrel ( not such an obscure but 
still true Internet reference ) but the rest of the team stuck to calling him James ( or “Pass the Sodding Ball” ) most of the time. 

Anyway to the match! (theme anyone??)

It was good to see a team which looked like it matched the average age of LCW ( I doubt if any will exceed it ).  This was evidenced 
in a well matched beginning which was fought mostly in midfield. 

As has been the case in many matches, we always seem to come up against players who can finish really well when given the opportunity.  
It proved to be the case again mid way through the first half (still seeing the theme??), but this time it was LCW doing the finishing.  
Some excellent build up work, which was evident throughout the first half, resulted in a poor clearance from the defence. The ball was 
bouncing but ended up sitting up nicely for John S as he moved forward from midfield; fortunately the crowd did not turn to check on 
their cocoa & sandwiches’, anticipating a goal kick as is normally the case when this opportunity is presented to Mr Sneddon. Good job 
too as from at least 25 metres out, the shot sailed over the 6 foot 2 Swiss madman into the goal,   Obviously the distance from goal 
and the height of the goalkeeper increased as the tale was retold multiple times after the match. So much so that the end result was a 
shot from Drummoyne which lobbed the 18 foot tall, six armed goalie.  
 

The goal was the first League goal for LCW for John – Hard to believe I hear you say, but yes this is his first in proper competition.  
It was the spur that LCW needed as they mounted multiple attacks on the Berowra goal.  Pressure told as a cross from Mr Biscuit Barrel 
managed to evade a couple of defenders to reach Mark S (the real Mark S). There was still work to be done as he had his back to goal 
( it’s a Canadian thing ) but a quick swivel on the spot finished with a low shot into the back of the old onion bag making it 2-0 to 
LCW.  This proved really frustrating to the goalkeeper who wasn’t generating the same comradeship as happened in 1291 when the 3 
states Uri, Schwyz and Unterwalden - the so called "Ur-Kantone" united against the surrounding aggressors to form the Swiss federation 
( another obscure but still true Internet reference ).  He proceeded to berate his colleagues as well as trying to inflict some pain 
on the goals posts by kicking them.

This seemed to kick-start Lindfield Berowra who started to utilise their 4-3-3 formation ( last chance for those who still haven’t got 
the theme ) physical front men and put LCW under lots of pressure.  But the defence held firm with Matt, Steve, Eric & Martin P holding 
tight in a new untried combination.  Halftime approached as the crowd considered the possibility of another “how do we defend a 2-0 
lead” dilemma but their fears were misplaced as another flowing move resulted in a cross from the right which was only partially 
cleared to “Neil Fraser” the resulting volley from the edge of the box was true and shot into the bottom corner of the net.  3-0 to 
LCW as the half time whistle blew.  One of the defence woke Dave W up so he could join in the team talk.

I don’t know what was in the water that Lindfield Berowra drank at half time but I wished LCW could have had some.  This is where the 
old cliché, game of two halves, could be used but I won’t do that, oh alright then, it was a game of two halves.

They may or may not have used some A team players ( as most teams seem to do against us ) but it didn’t  seem to be different to the 
team that left the pitch.  Midfield seemed to be coming through more and their harassing while we were in possession proved to be very 
effective as we struggled to string some moves together.

Pressure was applied for nearly all of the second half but like the Great beast of Caerbannog ( the rabbit ) LCW repelled all attacks 
– Fortunately Berowra  did not have the Hand Grenade of Antioch with which to breach the defence  ( this is for those who didn’t get 
the first reference – [technically it was the first reference this time but it should have been named  the first movie reference and 
not the first reference even though it was techinally not a movie, the second one is, that is the second movie reference as this is 
the third reference in total if you include the Swiss one referred to earlier on, well not really referred to, more mentioned,  it’s 
a definition thing! And the link is tenuous anyway as is the theme]) 

Despite seeing lots of the ball in the centre, man of the match (again) John S, just couldn’t get us going and it looked like it would 
turn into another capitulation by LCW but despite some last minute clearances from Eric,  a combined goal line clearance by Steve & 
Martin P and a very strange clearance off the knee from a sitting position ( with pike ) by Martin P, this time the defence held on.  
Their lack of penetration up front was emphasised by an attempted comment to the referee of “give us a break we are 3-0 down” the 
response to which is unprintable in a family newspaper like this. I will have to defer to Mark for the last time that we won by 3 goals 
to nil. Dave W cannot recall it happening after colour TV was introduced.  

It is amazing what a goal does for registering in the minds of the other players (unless you are Mark) as again the result of the MOTM 
voting went to John S followed by Eric then Martin P.