B GRADE MATCH REPORT

Kissing Point (Over35) 3 - 0 Lane Cove West (Over 35)

Match Report

EXTRA EXTRA READ ALL ABOUT IT

Handball Controversy & Canadians enter War Zone!!!!

As your Limping Reporter is drafted in to cover the regular correspondent’s absence, he would like to say that up until 15 mins
from the end he was just a Reporter.  If having to do this report requires having knackered legs then I resign.

Anyway to the match !!

A strange pitch greeted LCW as we arrived at Castle Crag (moved from Chatswood High School pitch as it also has a strange pitch 
but no grass).  Apart from only having about 6 feet from the edge of the pitch to the 18 yard box, a section of the field looked 
to be an ex-cricket pitch but not in the same vein as Mowbray Road or other venues as this was at least level with the surrounding 
areas.  What it was though, was rock-hard and dead flat almost like concrete.  Something to be aware of for all players wearing 
studs.

Up against the 3rd place team ( curiously named LindfieldB while LindfieldA linger at the bottom !), it was always going to be 
tough and a pep talk by “Captain for the Day” John Sneddon advised a cautious first 20 as they were likely to throw everything 
at us first up.  Total bollocks that advice turned out to be as LCW made an excellent start and created a few chances up front 
while the defence seemed to be holding their talented forward line up at the back, just.

As has been the case in many matches, we always seem to come up against players who can finish really well when given the 
opportunity.  It proved to be the case again mid way through the first half when a knock back from Eric was assessed by
Martin C to be strong enough to get back to the keeper, a quick review that it wasn’t and a slight hesitation as both Dave & 
Martin thought each other would make it first, allowed the Lindfield striker to sneak between them and fire the ball into the 
far corner of the net, outside of Dave’s reach. 

This seemed to kick-start Lindfield who started to utilise their 4-3-3 formation and put LCW under lots of pressure.  LCW still 
had their chances and despite Mark S being driven wide, twice, by the 12th Lindfield man ( the exposed sprinkler head ), they 
still had shots on goal and felt at half time that they  should be on a par at least.

I don’t know what was in the water that Lindfield drank at half time but I wished LCW could have had some.  This is where the 
old cliché, game of two halves, could be used but I wont do that, more like a game of one half with a break in the middle.

They may or may not have used some A team players ( as most teams seem to do against us ) but it did seem to be different to the 
team that left the pitch.  Midfield seemed to be coming through more and their harassing while we were in possession proved to 
be very effective as we struggled to string some moves together.
 

Not since 1660 when Adam Dollard des Ormeaux led a small band of men in a stand to the death against an Iroquois war party 
(obscure but true Internet reference) has a Canadian battled so hard against overwhelming odds as Mark S did.  In fact his 
effort brought back memories of the recent battle by Wild Bill Gallagher against St Michaels last year.  He too ended up 
attempting to stick his head into areas that lesser mortals would fear to tread. The result for Mark was a gash across his right 
eye, and despite his requests to “cut me, cut me” ( not so obscure Movie reference ) he had to leave the pitch.  In the true 
“felt nowt” tradition associated with northerners (technically Canada is north !!! ), Mark bravely returned towards the end of 
the game after treatment by Adrian & Paulie ( for those who didn’t get the first reference – [ technically it is the second 
reference but I was really referring to the first movie reference and not the total number of references which includes the 
first reference referred to earlier on, well not really referred to, more mentioned, it’s a definition thing! ]) 

The inevitable 2nd Lindfield goal came, but not through the expected open play.  The ball was thrown in by Lindfield and after 
few bounces it ended up being taken away by Ernie – unfortunately it was as if he was going home and was in his arm and also 
in the penalty area. Although he looked like he was adopting a Highland Fling pose at point of contact, he claims he was pushed 
from behind ( at least that was one of the 3 versions that Ernie told us after the match ). After a few minutes working out 
where the penalty spot was , and where the edge of the box and semi circle were as well, a well directed shot into the bottom 
left hand corner put them 2 up.

Despite seeing lots of the ball in the centre, man of the match John S, just couldn’t get us going and it looked like it would 
turn into another goal fest for the opposition.  Their 3 front men seemed to be getting all the bounces and were making their 
own luck with some good skills being well supported by the midfielders and even defenders.  The LCW defence, ably supported by 
some excellent saves by Dave W, kept them at bay (also crap finishing by them helped). Our lack of penetration up front was 
emphasised by an attempted sideline substitution of their goalkeeper so he could have a run outfield as “he wasn’t doing 
anything”. 

A ball pushed past the defender down the sideline by one of their forwards left Martin C with a chase cut short by an unforgiving 
hamstring. In the true “felt nowt” tradition associated with Monty Python, “it was only a mere flesh wound”  but enough to mean 
no more participation for the rest of the game. 

A reshuffle at the back as Gareth kindly came on to cover the last 15 mins in defence.  It was not enough though as an unkind own 
goal by Eric from a Lindfield dead ball situation made it 3-0.  Eric had proved prophetic earlier in the first half as a sliced 
clearance caused him to utter the immortal words “that had own goal written all over it”

I believe Tim F can relinquish his Own Goal Crown this season, although there is still time to make it a contest.

Another disappointing looking scoreline belied the effort put in and the enjoyment that the players are getting out, of the game. 
( that’s what they tell me anyway )

It is amazing what a goal does for registering in the minds of the other players (unless you are Mark) but this time there was 
nothing to distract the MOTM voting.  Although there was a sympathy vote for Mark S as he wore his shiner with pride,  John S got 
the vote followed by Dave B with a tie between Dave W and Mark S for third.