B GRADE MATCH REPORT

Lane Cove West (O35) 3 - 4 Kissing Point (O35)

Match Report

The new season began with a new variation on last year’s quest: how many different ways can you find to lose by a goal? The script
for this one involved being 3 goals down and dead and buried with 11 minutes to go, yet storming back almost to take a point.

The off-season news had been commendably thin. None of our text messages had found their way onto front pages. No players were 
detained in Spain or Coffs Harbour on sexual harassment charges. However, perhaps this was not surprising since the team-bonding 
high-point had been a Friday night in the “North Willoughby”, attended by just three players; and Eric, Peter & I protected each 
other from unwanted attentions of young female fans. Well, we were ready to anyway.

As the new season dawned, the criteria for recruiting became clear. Concerned at the ability of some of the squad to absorb new 
information, we had attempted to recruit only players having familiar names. So, a new Dave, a new Tim (well, an old Tim, but 
new to the Bs), the return of the second Martin, TWO new Marks. We can now put a team on the field with just 5 first names between 
them (There’s a prize for the first person who spots when this actually happens).

So, the final tally of ins and outs was:

OUT:

Brian & James to the As (they didn’t have names that fitted the new policy)
Howard to New York

IN:

Tim C who has exited gracefully from the As
Mark S (possibly the first Canadian to play for the club)
Mark L
Dave B
Martin C (of whom more below)
Neil (who slipped in under the radar of the new policy)

And the walking/hopping wounded as the season started were:

Me (knee)
John (groinal regions)
Bill (toe)
Tony (knee, with points north now recovered)
Andy (leg, somewhere)

Amongst the changes was an all-new twin strike force: Neil & Dave B, and a definite first: never before have we had two strikers 
both born AFTER England won the World Cup! (In our post-season game last year against Lindfield, you may recall, when we let Dave W 
out of goal, and Bill was still in motion, we had twin strikers with a combined age of 125!). You boys under 40 can expect a lot of 
running this year!

And the new strikers paid dividends after just 6 minutes: Dave B chased and chased what looked like a hopeless cause, the defenders 
panicked and cleared only as far as Neil, quite a way out on the right, but his shot was firm and on target and 1-0, the perfect 
start to the season against last year’s high-flyers… well, not quite. Having rejected the chronological school of reporting (see 
how the first paragraph above tells you the end? It’s a bit like those movies with flashbacks, but not as confusing) I haven’t yet 
told you the minor disaster that unfolded in minute 3 of the season. Nor have I told you the meteorological conditions, which have 
a bearing, too. A warm day. No breeze. But – here’s the point: a bright sun bearing down from the car-park end of our new home 
ground, Blackman. Well, I say, “new”: Steve may recall that we had quite a few games there one season there in the early 80s. In fact, 
I recall getting hammered there by Chatswood Rangers when we thought that, at 17, they were all too young to be in All-Age. And then 
2 years ago, we played the same team and thought they were all too young to be in Over-35s! But perhaps I digress, even in a non-
chronological approach to reporting. So fast-forward back to 3 minutes into yesterday’s game: a Kissing Point hopeful lob out to the 
left had Tim F underneath it, but the sun was in a direct line from Tim through the ball, it sailed over him (the ball, not the sun), 
to two waiting attackers, one of whom smartly rifled it into the net: the first of 4 well-taken goals, none of which gave Dave W a 
chance.

For those of you who were missing last week, your beer money gave Dave W a very nice bottle of wine to celebrate his 65th. When he 
got it home he noticed that it says it’ll be at its best in 15 years. He says he’ll drink it when he retires from football; or 
after 15 years – whichever comes first!!

So, we’d been on level terms for the first 3 minutes of the season. In fact, from the kick-off we’d started with a lovely flowing 
passing movement. Well, it ebbed a bit, as well as flowing, but the important thing was that we moved the ball around, and this was 
the most encouraging feature of the whole game: we played good football. And we were level again from the 6th minute, but it lasted 
only another 7 (being injured, I can record these vital facts on my clipboard). What looked like a good tackle just outside our area 
saw the ball bobble to a free KP player who, again, picked his spot well, and we were back to 1-2, last year’s nemesis.

The clipboard doesn’t record much for the rest of the 1st half, except a Peter special free kick from way out that was in its way to 
the top corner until pushed around the post by a great save. We continued to play good football and defend stoutly. In particular, 
man-of-the match Martin C put in an inspirational performance on his return from a year’s injury: crunching here, marauding there: 
Howard would have been proud of you!

In the second half our opponents tired, and our good passing brought a few chances. Warren lobbed narrowly wide. Mark L had a good 
run in from the left & Dave B almost got on the end of the cross at the far post. Then Mark L had a fierce shot after a good run up 
the left from Eric. 

At the other end, Dave W was cool under pressure, frequently plucking the ball from the air, and our defence seemed well in control.

But even a defence doing well can’t do much about sharp shooting, and it was Kissing Point who scored the next two goals (on the 
hour, and after 69 minutes). Two more good goals, and at 1-4, the game seemed over.

But no: much drama remained. Just two minutes later a well-taken Mark L goal gave us some cheer. Amazingly, two minutes later again, 
handball in the area, a penalty given by Ivan (excellent referee), and up strode Peter to thump the ball high and left. 3-4 and 
7 minutes to go!

We now threw players forward (though Dave W wisely stayed back when we got a corner) and, in truth, it was our opponents who got 
nearest to scoring again. An attacker wove his way through our defence and was bearing down on goal until typically persistent 
harrying from Mark L sent him - and ultimately his shot – just wide.

So a satisfying start to the season in all except the result. “When did we last score 3?” was the after-match talk. Back in div 1, 
22 months ago, is the answer (Andy L scored a hat-trick against Wahroonga). And when did we last play in a 4-3 game? Still 
searching the records on that one, but not this millennium, anyway!  


MARK BRYANT