Pornography.

My definition:  The graphical (grapho) depiction of sexual activity.  Definitions include elements of excitement, arousal even violence.  The artistic brand is classified by some as Erotica.

If you are reading this on my web site you can probably thank the millions of porn sites which to some extent fund the world wide web and its rapid ascendancy.

My experience shows that those who are most vocal in their condemnation of pornography are often (not always) a victim of it themselves.  I say victim because this is an awful dilemma for people who are caught in a fight for their own beliefs.  So if you are commenting on this particular topic make sure you are honest.  The topic is of interest to me for a number of reasons.  I have counseled people who have been adversely affected by pornography addiction and I know people who are deeply involved in counseling the clergy in pornography related issues.  It upsets me to see the see the hypocrisy that pervades the Christians who are so vocal against pornography and erotica.

My own family story demonstrates the hypocrisy that lives in the form of double standards.  I have often said, I hate or loath this!  Powerful words that probably do not do justice to my thoughts.  I recall a Biblical verse that says "Happy is he that does not condemn himself in what he does".  So woe is he who condemns himself for the things he does. 

There are definitely sinister sides to the porn industry, however, I am not sure that there is an industry that is not affected by sinister elements.  Exploitation is an issue that concerns me not only in pornography but in industries like clothing, food and entertainment.  I'm not exactly sure how to resolve this issue because we are a part of a system that is virtually dependent on exploitation.  This is a topic on its own right that is worth taking up in detail.  I have often used the analogy of the counterfeit money.  An announcement comes over the news that a counterfeit racket has placed a large quantity of counterfeit $20 bills in circulation.  Is our reaction to empty our wallets of every $20 note because of the possibility of a fake note?  Do we throw the baby out with the bathwater?

Further to this I am a firm believer in age appropriate disclosure of sex themes and topics.  Pornography should be absolutely taboo from children both as objects and its exposure.  Children are fragile emotionally and pornography should be completely out of reach.  Unfortunately children are targeted and parents are too naive and slow to respond to this important issue.

With the appropriate limits and boundaries I am of the opinion that various types of Erotica (similar to pornography but defined as having a higher emotional content, usually artistic) have the ability to enhance sexual relationships as well as hinder them.  I recall Phil McGraw saying that you shouldn't do anything that you wouldn't do with your partner.  This, in my opinion, is good advice and couples can have great success with mutual use of Pornography and Erotica.

Some people want to relegate sexual material to the trench coat pervert class, but the reality is that all sorts of people use it for a variety of purposes.  As I have mentioned, church leaders and pastors use it.  Politicians, lawyers, labourers and all sorts of ordinary people enjoy it both within their relationships and to enhance their loneliness.  Trying to legislate against it is like trying to make breathing a crime.  If a sexual deviate or offender is caught with pornography the images are blamed.  True they may fuel the desire but I think it is immature to think that anything that fuels a crime should be outlawed.  I remember stealing a Mars bar when I was a child.  Just think Mars bars could have been my opening to a life of crime!

In my opinion, one person's meat is another person's poison.  If you claim something is bad for you and going to do you harm, it probably will (psychologically anyway).  However, don't put your values on someone who doesn't see it as inappropriate.  I think most of the arguments against pornography and erotica I've heard aren't good ones simply because they're based on draconian (usually referring to harsh laws) understandings of sexuality and sensuality.

Internet pornography has opened up the world of sex in a provocative and profound way.  It is a far cry from the Playboy centerfold that I was accustomed to as a teenager.  It has exposed a world with all the facets and perversions of our society.  Is it good or is it bad.  Well it is both!  The sexual revolution was a liberating thing but great change always comes at great cost.  The thing that makes sexuality and the graphical depiction of it shocking to some also makes it exciting for others. 

If you want a interesting twist on nudity watch the movie "Mrs. Henderson Presents".  It's a true story of the war time era just before and during World War 2.  It's not offensive, but a great movie that tells a story with an unexpected, final moral to the story.

There is so much more to say!

Anyway have I hit the spot?  Sorry about the Freudian slip (not really)

Quotes:

The difference between erotica and pornography is simple. Erotica is what I like. Pornography is what you like, you pervert! Stephen Gilbert

Ecclesian's response 26/11/05

As for pornography - I admit that I visit some sites - I am still looking for something.  But I have been thinking about what you have been saying.  I see three main issues.  Firstly - sexual content.  Secondly - aesthetic content.  Thirdly - moral content.  These three aspects are like the legs of a stool and they should be balanced I think, for the stool to be able to stand properly.  So, a picture or object (it isn't defined as art yet) includes sexual content.  This will be fairly obvious and can exist at different degrees.  I have no trouble with that.  But is it art?  Perhaps there is an aesthetic element.  This is a lot more difficult to define, but again there are certain rules or norms which govern this in general.  But I think that the big issue is one of morality.  Distinctions of porn versus erotica are virtually impossible, but I can set personal moral standards.  Let me give an example - there is a web site called something like stupiddrunkslutsabused.com where the "pornographer" involved gets young women drunk and then seduces them, taking great delight in his using them then dumping them.  He invites others to "cum in and fuck a whore yourself" or uses similar "smut" language.  

Other sites are promoting rape, incest, torture, paedophilia, sexual abuse and slavery, they describe women (made in the Image of God) using the most graphically derogoratory terms imaginable.  This is the kind of thing I hate with all my being.  While some fetish sites may come down to a matter of taste, I'm sorry, simulated rape and torture (euphemistically called "bondage" etc.) is just not on as far as I'm concerned - the real thing is criminal and evil and revolting and can only breed sick minds.  The internet is full of this kind of shit and we should abolish it if we can.  

Apparently though there has been a bit of a renaissance in the "erotic" genre  - with a new emphasis upon the "simple nude" or a more aesthetic approach.  I see this as a very positive thing.  I've talked to a friend about this and he admits that he has had a "porn addiction" in the past.  He has wanted to flee from porn but is frustrated because for him there is no "positive" outlet for his sexuality.  He wants more than just sex - he wants love, affection and companionship, something that porn cannot give.  He is aware of the connection between porn and masturbation, but sees this too as a temporary measure.  Of course he hates the fact that so much porn sexually objectifies women and like me he hates the prevailing "immoral content" - whether blatant or implied.  He is concerned that even if he was to limit his viewing to "morally sound erotic art" that he would just become more sexually stimulated and so more frustrated in his loneliness.  I understand his point - porn can become an addiction for those who are sexually starved or lonely, becoming more obsessive and introspective as one turns toward the ideal of the porn star and away from real people and real relationships (along with all the difficulties that come with them).  Art with a sexual content or erotica is good it seems for those who are already sexually fulfilled in their relationships, an enhancement, but not a replacement.  I could say a lot more about this - Ecclesian

Mike:  Thanks Ecclesian.  Great stuff!  This is a topic that is not talked about enough.  People just pretend it doesn't exist.  A new generation is growing up with access to sexually explicit material like no other generation in history.  I can remember being aware but confused about sex until my mid teens.  Now very young teenagers and earlier are being exposed to material that elaborates on an exceptionally wide spectrum of sexual activity.

However, that is a topic on its own.  Censorship of pornography, I believe, is an impossible task.  Like the desire for food, the sexual desires are a powerful force unable to be tamed by censorship.  With the birth of the internet, this industry has grown phenomenally.  This rapid growth has taken most by surprise throwing a spanner into the works.  As wild and untamed as it is, we have to learn to understand and deal with the whole phenomenon.  The old days of the People magazines with the odd boob here and there and the censored Playboy's and Penthouse magazines that I grew up with seem like an old fashioned relic.

I often wonder about the holy grail of sexual fulfilment.  Many people are sexually fulfilled in their relationships but still desire something more.  In many ways I tend to think that a biological explanation of these things answers more questions than the God created explanation answers.

More brain capacity and intellect seems to create a greater capacity and desire for diversity in sexual behaviour.  Men and women both desire and enjoy the voyeuristic element especially when it comes to the celluloid and more recent digital world of sex.  The desire is often greater in men than women, but I feel that women are often undersold on their desires and feeling in these respects.

I believe pornography/erotica can be a legitimate factor in individual and couple's sexuality as it can also be a stumbling block.  Again one person's terrorist is another's freedom fighter.  Human nature and behaviour is complex and no two people are alike.  Pornography can be scorned, embraced or treated with discernment.  Brandishing it as evil, in my opinion, ignores reality and is only going to cause frustration and even more problems.  The reality is that any good thing can be used in a negative and unproductive way. 

As for addiction, well that's another story.  The problem with addictions are that they cause "dysfunctional behaviour" and often rob the person affected and people close to them of freedom.  The reality is we are creatures of habit and a large percentage of people are affected by obsession of some sort.  I suppose we are all screwed up, it's just that some of us are more screwed up than others.  Add sex to the mix and you have a volatile cocktail.  The issue is how to curb sexual needs and wants like you have spoken of.  The draconian method of trying to totally rid of sexual desire is immature, so our community has to respond to this in a positive and liberating way.  I wish I had the answer to that, I suppose it's an individual thing.