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Are you a fundamentalist?

This is a test designed to test if you really are a fundamentalist Christian.
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 The Resume of Jesus
My sister in law sent me this and a number of people have commented on it.  Thanks Brenda!
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Society without Christianity

So what would our society be like without Christianity.
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 Quote
All great religions, in order to escape absurdity, have to admit a dilution of agnosticism. It is only the savage, whether of the African bush or the American gospel tent, who pretends to know the will and intent of God exactly and completely.

H.L. Mencken, Damn! A Book of Calumny, (1918)

 

The Bible's Greatest Hits.

This is my own list of top stories of the Bible.

 

Number 1.  rated 5 stars *****

The book called Numbers has what is in my opinion the greatest story of God sanctioned injustice in the whole of the Bible.  In chapter 31 of that book a story is told of Moses' anger at his soldiers who didn't do what was commanded.  What was commanded?  To kill all the men women and children, including livestock.  However they were to keep the virgins for themselves.  I have never spoken to one Christian who knows about that story.  I wonder why?

 

Number 2.

The law of God.

Well the law was supposed to be the epitome of right living.  This law is more than just 10 commandments as shown in Exodus 20 and 34 (not sure which is the real 10), but 613.  In all the so called standard is said by Christians to be a reflection on God's holy character, because it was Yahweh (Jewish name for God) who was supposed to have given it.

Beating your slave is OK as long as he can get up after a day or two.  (Exodus 21:20)

Don't cut the hair at the sides of your head or trim the edges of your beard. (Lev 19:28)

I'm just not sure how all this works when God is supposed to be some sort of role model.

 

Number 3.

There can be no forgiveness of sins without the shedding of blood.  

This is an old one common to many ancient religions.  I find it unusual that a religion that claims so much exclusivity and uniqueness to be endorsing not only animal, but human sacrifice.  Some say it was only animal sacrifice.  But think again, what did the Bible's version of God demand for the forgiveness of sin, a human sacrifice!

 

Number 4.

Justice.  The story of Elisha and the youths who were taunting him about his lack of hair. 2 Kings 2:23-24.

The story is told of a bunch of young people who started taunting Elisha to "go up".  This was possibly in response to his mentor Elijah who had supposedly been caught up into heaven in a fiery chariot (Maybe a UFO Jill).  They taunted him with the words go up you baldhead.  I suppose in modern terms they may have said "go to heaven chrome dome".  Elisha was obviously upset by this and called a curse down on them which brought two bears out of the forest.  The two bears mauled forty-two of the youths according to the story.

Does the time fit the crime?  You be the judge.  Typical Biblical - Godly injustice if you ask me.  Of course Christians will maintain that this is an appropriate punishment for jeering at God's anointed.

 

Number 5.

David a man after God's own heart.

Read about David and you will soon discover that he was not the King that we were taught about in Sunday school.  A murderer, adulterer (remembering these exclude you from God's kingdom as taught in the New Testament).  He also enslaved the people and caused all sorts of strife.  I suppose this is why he was a man after God's own heart.  Both obviously have blood on their hands.  While studying at Bible college one of my comrades did an essay on David the serial murderer.  The lecturers weren't happy but there was a great deal of substance in the thesis, from a Biblical point of view.  So this is the sort of heart that God likes?

Read 2 Samuel 21:7-9. 

1Kings 2:1-9.  On one hand David tells Solomon to keep the law but then gives instructions to "bring his gray head down to the grave in blood".  Not sure if I like this version of God.  Hypocritical, vengeful, angry and jealous.  Would you marry someone with those qualities?   

 

Number 6.

The Christian doctrine of Election and predestination.

Apparently God raises nations and people with the explicit purpose to be wicked so that he can display some sort of power in getting rid of them.  This is evident in the story of Moses when God told him that he raised Pharaoh to display his power through him.  God seems to be more concerned with his reputation as a cruel war lord than a being of love and justice.

 

Number 7.

The last example leads on to the story of the slaying of the firstborn in Egypt.  This was done to teach Pharaoh a lesson supposedly.  Each time the ruler "hardened his heart" God sent a plague on the people of his kingdom.  I thought only political despots punished and exploited their people for their own gain.  Once again God demonstrates an uncanny similarity to the evil rulers that have ravaged our societies.

 

Number 8.

God plays a trick on Abraham convincing him to sacrifice his only son.  At the last minute, just before the knife is about to fall, an angel stops him.  Phew, that was close!!!

 

Number 9.

Ezekiel's descriptions of the nation of Israel and the Bible translators attempts to mask the provocative language contained in the attack on Israel. These are passages you will never hear read in church.  Read chapters 16, 20 and 23 of the eccentric prophet's condemnation, particularly chapter 23 and the verses surrounding 20.  I refer to this in Harry Potter or The Bible.

 

Number 10.

Samson kills 1000 armed soldiers with a bone.  Judges 15:14-16.  Actually its the jawbone of an ass.  Maybe you have to be an ass to believe this.  It is strange how God's Spirit (Holy Spirit) enables Samson to do these things.  Probably the main problem with the story is its believability and secondly the way people give glory to such a God when he is attributed with such murderous rampages.

 

I'm still adding but still interested in your comments so far.

Email me at mikesforum@tpg.com.au

 

Jill:  Hey ya mike.. here is a comment for your site under the heading   --  "The bibles greatest hits" 

 Here is  something  Christians  might like to think about in regards to the "10 commandments"  - If God gave man free will then how come God  commands humans to  behave  in a certain manner   and commands us  to  do   and  not to do certain things?...  its like , what kind of free will is that..lol....?   free will with conditions   isn't really   true  free will is it? -  for example.. unconditional love is true love,  but to   love with   conditions isn't real true love..

I could understand some celestial  being  coming down to planet  earth with a set of teachings  ,and  calling it "a guide for living" as such  , but to label  them  " commandments" .. I don't think so.-.i think every being in creation has the right to exercise  his/her  free will (freedom of choice) .....  I also  believe  if we go against the natural rhythm of the universe   ( the laws of nature ) then we suffer the  "cause and effect" of our own actions , thus end up hurting ourselves..

  Numbers chapter  31.17  where it says " Kill every boy and kill every woman who has had sexual intercourse , but keep alive for yourselves  all the girls and woman who are virgins....is just one example in the bible    how  human beings  have no right to   express their own free will... ..that verse is so sickening  the person who labelled  the bible    "HOLY"    doesn't truly understand the meaning of holiness  .. -sadly if Christians  think taking the life of another , beating  or stoning another human being   to death are acts of  holiness from God  then they must see   unholiness as acts of   love , kindness  and  compassion   -    it just goes to show  how corrupted the bible really is...

 many human beings today   still behave the same way they did like  back in the biblical days -nothings changed , people still fight  in wars, kill each other ,  participate in  bizarre  satanic rituals, "black magic" orgies  etc,,, we don't hear voices from the sky  commanding us  to kill our fellow man do we? - in my opinion  God doesn't "command" us to do anything  -just food for thought for those Christians out there...

thanks mike...

 

Mike:  Thanks Jill.  Unconditional love is an interesting subject.  Is any love unconditional.  I can only relate these things to situations I know and understand, to some degree.  I know my own marriage relationship has conditions.  I suppose Christians might suggest the same is so of the God-person relationship.  One thing That I think is dodgy is the suggestion that humans shouldn't put conditions on their God for a loving relationship.  If Christians just expect me to worship their God with no thought about its morality or fairness, they've got another thing coming.

First of all, the commandments supposedly given by God are not all fair to start with.  I would have hoped that a bunch of commands given buy a all knowing God would be a little more holy.  Christians say they obey the ten commandments but then reject the one on the Sabbath (Saturday) and replace it with Sunday.  There is so much to pick holes in.  

What I will say about the conditional part is that the conditions that God supposedly demands are unable to be agreed on by Christians.  Some conditions exclude some people from heaven apparently.  Being a thief, greedy, a drunk, slanderer, swindlers, sexually immoral, an idolater, adulterer, male prostitute or homosexual.  These explicit exclusions basically rule out everyone.  I know that I fit into at least two of them.  I would love to hear from a righteous Christian who has passed all of those conditions.  It seems that being a Christian and forgiven is not really good enough because this list of conditions would not have been added otherwise. So Your point about conditions is a good one.  But when an immoral God tries to hand down unachievable conditions who has any hope?

 

Jill:  hey ya mike.. thanks for your comment -i  think the 10 "commandments' have been corrupted by monarchs through history , i also think the meaning behind the "commandments " have been interpreted incorrectly as well as verses shortened -.. for example  in one of  the gospels that didn't make it to the bible (Gospel of the holy 12)  it explains the  laws given by Moses  in detail, where  it states  in the bible  "thou shall not murder - gospel of the holy 12  states "thou shall not take the life of anyone or any living creature...   where it says  "honour your father and mother so that you may live long in the land",  i think it means  honour /respect all life  the masculine and the feminine in all of creation  , in Hebrew mother and father  relates to  the   "male and female  "..i find it a bit odd that God would only want humans to respect their biological parents and stuff everybody else in creation ..lol... 

.- christ also pointed out in gospel of the holy 12   , to not live by the laws only brings destruction upon oneself.- i dont believe God would punish  humans for the mistakes they carry out,nor command them to do anything against their will     ... .i  believe the  original uncorrupted version of the "commandments" were more of a "guide for living"   - say  for example  if we   go against the laws of creation , harm the  earth its environment , its people etc  - we only bring destruction upon ourselves- i think the "commandments"  are  teaching  the law of "cause and effect"  as christ would say "you reap what you sow" as they say  in the east - "karma"

....as for the  "rest on the 'sabbath" sunday or saturday"?  .- i  honestly  think God wouldnt care what day  of the week he would like  people  to rest on..lol...... i think that  particular "commandment " has been corrupted as well ... i reckon  that verse means - take time to rest Gods temple (the body,- mind and spirit ),  to look after the  health of the  physical  mental and   spirtual state of our  being  , for to overwork  the body /mind/ spirit  would  certainly  bring destruction upon the self..

on the topic of conditions  -  ... hmmm first   let me guess  mike...lol.  are you    the "swinderling   male prostitue"  .. LOL - hee hee hee...  sorry mike im  just  joking with ya..lol.--.on  a serious note  .. i think your right mike  yes!  ,  the homosexual, the thief , the drunk, the male prostitute,.(.lol)..   etc.. do make up the majority  in society,  ,i dont see it as a crime for a person  to fall in love with somebody  of the same sex.. that would be like calling love a crime...as for the drunk  or the thief etc...i believe  that our greatest "mistakes " (or as i would call it  "addictions" ) in life  can be  our greatest teachers put forth in front of us -, many  people have learnt from their greatest "mistakes" (addictions) thus    bringing  awareness to their soul..

 ive known alchoholics who have  turned their  life around for the better  never to touch the stuff again ,  thieves  who have turned their life around never to steal again for it only brought unhappiness to their  lives.... its sad that Christians are quick to judge or condemn such people and  labelling them   "sinners"  that  are  doomed or going to "hell" "    when christ taught  "love thy neighbour" (meaning everyone)  dont take revenge on anyone  , love thy enemy, do not judge , etc..i believe  christ was teaching  that we will only find true peace and happiness  on earth when all of humanity  can love and accept everyone as equal and the same, for  we will only know what true love is  when we can love everyone  unconditionally no matter  who or what we are...

thanks mike..

 

Mike:  Thanks Jill.  I'm not sure about the Biblical record full stop.  I know there is some historical information about various people groups that is correct, but the details about many of the so called happenings are dodgy.  The "science" of textual criticism has revealed that many parts of the Bible have been edited by redactors.  On top of this parts which detail the same events record things entirely differently.  Sometimes events get used as a political or religious tool to make a point to suit whoever is writing it.  We have to question the motives of these writers of religious Scriptures, no matter what religious persuasion they are of.

 
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