Some Thoughts:
A journey into the mind of an artiste...

 

I (Heather) often wonder why it is that when I wear my favourite red slippers that I got from the local $2 shop, when I sit down, by the time I stand up again, the slippers are on the wrong feet.

Why the hell do people enjoy sending on those corny fowarded messages on the net? Seriously, does anyone really care about some crap about friendship angels? Those who have any sense at all would, rather than foward these messages on, grab the silly angel by it's halo, and send it hurtling towards Uranus (the planet, that is). Furthermore, some of these fowarded messages claim that you'll have good luck for 2 years if you send it on to your friends. Well, those who have been stupid enough to fall for that and send the messages onto Heather might have just found that rather than getting luck and making her smile at the oh-so sweet friendship message, she has hastily blocked them from sending any further emails to her address. Luck? You tell me! Friendship angels, ha.

Why do my fabulous new purple slippers make me walk funnier than ever before?

Uh, where is my left purple slipper?

Why do some people get on the lift at level 2, just to get to level 3? Do they want to inconvenience everyone else trying to get from level one to level 6, or are they just the laziest morons in the building? Worse still, why do some people get on the lift at level 3, just to get to level 2? Why can't they just walk down a few stairs? Sure, it's understandable to use the lift to get from level 1 to level 6 - I tried walking it once, and learnt the hard way that I'm just not fit enough for such a workout. But you don't need the lift at all to get down stairs, really. Unless of course, you're carrying musical equipment, a bag, a folder, 6 oversized library books, and a set of $25 Dick Smith headphones instead of the $400 ones that the sound tech recommended... BUT SO FAR NONE OF OUR LEVEL3 TO LEVEL 2 PEOPLE HAVE BEEN CARRYING ANYTHING AT ALL!

Why do people keep sitting next to me on the bus? I don't mind if people sit next to me when there are no other seats, or when there are no sets of 2 seats left. But what about when there are only 4 seats taken on a really large bus, and countless spare ones? Why, then, do people still have to sit next to me? And why is it always when I'm carrying some massive music equipment and stuff, which I then have to guard even more closely? It's just silly. Why would they want to sit next to me anyway? I'm an unfriendly little mutant to who invariably has B.O.! What will it take to get people to sit by themselves, without the company of a grotesque little uni student like myself? No deodorant at all? I can't do that. I want company once I get to class... Just not on the bus when there is almost an entire busload worth of empty seats!

I'm going to make an entire website on "Bus Etiquette" some day.

Why do parents put the kettle on to make tea, when they know that by the time they return to it (if at all), they'll have to boil the water all over again?

Heather's Conclusion: Because they're lazy. They don't want to deal with getting out the old tea-pot-bags that they left after their last cup of tea - they'd rather leave that dirty business up to Heather. So they pretend that they're making tea; put the kettle on; leave the room; wait until the coast is clear (ie, Heather has dealt with the old tea-pot-bags, the boiled water, the new tea-pot-bags, etc), and then return when their tea is ready for them.

Where's my tea?