☺ << paddling program. Plywood Pirates
The National Academy of Paddling and Kayak-Building
We are the doing ones. We can do almost everything, with nothing. However, we cannot do some things. Because we cannot do these some things, we will not refuse to do some things that we can do. What we can do, we will do. What we should do, we always do. What we may do, ...... is another matter.
And, we always do that, with "ruthless pride" ..... >> freddo << e-mail
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If you stumbled onto this site and aren't confused,
then you don't really understand what is going on.
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< click
picture for our paddling program
[ you can also click
the small face at the top left of this page ]
click >>> Freya Hoffmeister, paddling around Australia. Read her diary notes.
click >>> Electronic paddles for sale Digital readout & other features.
click >>> West Kunderang, ... pictures Pictures and vital info.
click >>> The Plywood Pirates Poem, by Peter Biggs.
click >>> Ray's kayak photos.. by Ray, who else. ?
click >>> Gleniffer falls, Sunday 13th Jan, 2008 Pictures and vital info.
click >>> Freddo's Gorge pictures Pictures by Rusty Grooves.
click >>> Ray's Gorge pictures Pictures by the Bo'Sun.
click >>> R and R Boats Pictures by Professor Plywood.
click >>> Plywood pirates theme song by Terry Munsie. ....to the tune, "Puff the Magic Dragon".
What we do, would bring tears to a glass eye.
Also, .... we intend to live forever. ... so far, so good.
....... Click these links for our hidden treasure.
My Gt Grandmopther's 1882 Diary. England to Australia, in the "Peterborough". A 93 day sailing trip.
Download the latest "Google Earth" program. > > here < < ........ v 4.3.7204.0836 [beta]
Pirates' Laws ........ [ the 25 Commandments and Pirate Etiquette ]
Skee Kayak Centre [ for Tupperware Kayaks ] and other "real-good-stuff".
"Workshop-tools" ....... perfect, for the home Randy-man. .......[ sponsored by MITRE 11 ]
"Dark suckers" ...... Find out what they are & understand how they work
Lowrance GPS, ......" I FINDER GO " [user-notes and shortcuts]
GPS points of interest ...... Know exactly where you are, ...... especially when you are lost.
Pirates tunes page, ....Celt, .... Irish, ....Scot.
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Is gravity getting you down ? Kayak with the Plywood Pirates, and learn-to-swim.
Remember, nothing happens until something moves.
If you've got nothing, keeping it clean 'n' tidy is very easy.
Long ago we pirates had nothing, and now, most of us have still got it.
If you're not living on the edge like the pirates, you're taking up too much space.
..ooOOoo..
Our recent publications are ......
Live by the Kayak, play by the Kayak. ........ by Kaye Yakker.
Never trust a Skinny Cook. ....... by Pam Cake.
Never trust anyone who shaves their legs. ..... by Miss de'Meanour.
Kayaking outdoors. ....... by Al Fresco.
The Pirate's guide to fast-food. .... by Col Esterol.
Pirated copies are still available. ===============================================================================
Get your qualifications with us. Become a Kayakologist or Kayakaholic, or study Pirateology, full or part time.
We offer advanced tuition in Kayakology. Our Nursery Section has beginner-vacancies & runs Second-aid courses.
We also offer a safe and protected environment for care-less adults who enjoy kayaking & all outdoor mischief.
Increase your paddling speed with us. ..... paddle from daylight to dark in two hours.
Some of our kayaks are such masterpieces that they never leave the lounge-room.
Learn to use your GPS unit with us, ..........and get lost in the process. ...... [bring some string & a torch]
Our un-qualified instructors are a tremendous asset to our dis-organisation.
In just 25 seconds, they can tell you everything they know about Kayaks, Kayaking and not Kayaking.
Visit our sheltered workshop. Open Mondays, Tuesdays & Fridays. .... Run by Gerry Attrick
There are no admission charges ..... but, ..... bring your own bullshit repellent.
You will .... [eventually], .... improve your survival-skills, your education-level and your basic-knowledge.
Come and get a life for once in your life, ... [ get some 2nd-hand-skills too ]
Learn from our mistakes, .........we do, ..........so, why shouldn't you.
Our rules are very simple and easy .... "We don't have any".
There are no joining fees, or visible charges. [ Well, ...... not just yet ]
We don't have committees, there are no elections or meetings. [ so there's more time to enjoy what we do best ]
We never argue with women when they are tired, .... [ or when they are not tired. ]
We always say "no", ....... then we negotiate.
We all do as we like, whenever we like, where ever we like, as long as we like, [as long as we like it].
We always believe what we hear. ............. We don't believe what we always see.
We build plywood kayaks and canoes. ..... [canoes are for the women & kids]
Come and have a stroke with us. ....... You will have an oar-some time.
We paddle somewhere different every Saturday & Wednesday. and ...... [ do you like a full moon, night-paddle, ? ]
We often camp out, ....... [ forced to sometimes ].
You are most welcome, ... to join us, ... or hide from us, but, ....... don't annoy us.
Don't ever criticize us, then we won't criticize you, ............although we reserve the right to.
Huge penalties are un-enforceable, for disagreeing with any of us, on anything at all.
Donations / penalties, are usually, 8 x 4 sheets of 3mm plywood, payable to head office.
Our sacred sites; Boambee, Bonville, Pine, Warrell, Moonee, Station, Red-Rock & Coffs creeks.
The Bellinger, Wooli, & Sandon rivers; The Harbour, Scotts Hd & the mighty Clarence-Gorge.
For information on our do-ings, not-doings, and out-ings. >>> vk2fm@tpg.com.au ...or phone 6653 1511..
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Our great Crew, ... we have ex-spurts in every field.
Click any picture for a grew-some image
The ex-spurts. ex-spurts in uniform. Our old clubhouse. Our new clubhouse. Annette, Our cook
Ray [vk2brg] Robert [vk2ch] Freddo [vk2fm] Pat [vk2bph] Terry, conducting.
Clem, Eye surgeon. Floppy, fishing. Joyce, resting. Peter D, counting. Doug, sailing.
Elaine, reflecting Ken [vk2dgt] & Robyn Ray's new Kayak Ray & Jan Bill, wondering.
Geoff, [ear-piercer] Billy, supervising. Peter the Dentist. Bob, [timekeeper]. Bruno, Noah's apprentice
Noel [good memory] Stan [Razor-man] Geoff [Cookie] Mike [fingers] P.S. Duneasy.
Newsflash... Salt-water Crocodile in local creek...[Warrell Ck. Thursday, 9th November ].
The news and these photos have local authorities baffled as to how this crocodile has reached so far south.
The authorities are also critical of the fellows playing around with it and inviting serious injuries to themselves.
The only crocodile known to eat apples & bananas.
.... See newspaper article in the Coffs Coast Advocate, Saturday, 11th Nov, [ Remembrance Day ]
Ray on the bite. freddo tempts fate. Robert gets bitten. Warrell ck crocodile freddo & girlfriend
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Our Hyper - active Pirates are ; [ some have A.D.D. ..... "too much bad rum in early childhood" ]
Ray 1 vk2brg, [Kayakologist, B.A (hons) Bullshit Artist ], Ph.D [post hole digger] in Kayakology, ......a kayakaholic].
Robert vk2ch, [Chief Engineer ] known around the globe & in the boat-building trade, as, "Professor Plywood".
Freddo vk2fm, [O H & S] of Hook & Sword. Has studied the "female-brain" [ gave up, ....didn't find anything ]
Ken vk2dgt, [Quality control ] ,,, Control is o.k. ,,, Quality walked the plank ,,,, In damage control.
Pat vk2bph, Ex motor-cycle pillion passenger. aka, "Pat on the Back". ... Paddling speed almost improving.
Doug [Captain Craftsman] Doing time in the clink, ... got 12 months for stealing a calendar. [now polishing H.M Iron]
Clem [Our eye surgeon] Wears an eye-patch made of 3mm plywood. A keen listener, but, blind as a welder's dog.
Floppy [Socks] Favourite saying is "Well, I'll be darned". Recently fell into an upholstery machine. Is now fully recovered.
Peter D [our very own George Negus] once worked for 60 minutes, but no more than 60 minutes. Tutors Pirateology
Ray 2 [ Blister ] ... Appears when all the work is finished. [Often snags his kayak's outrigger in bridge pylons].
Ray 3 [ The Judge ] Always sitting on a case. Has new strip-deck Kayak & GPS. [Moves about with great confidence].
Peter B [ Our Dentist ] Studied Dentistry out of a book. Pulls teeth, [ while you wait ]. Currently learning brain surgery.
Annette [The cook] Where would we all be without the cook. Cooking up a new kayak. .. Housework's on hold.
Bob Mac [ Time-keeper ] ...... has had more time off than a spare bike-tyre.
Billy [ Workshop supervisor ] Very strong, .... but, can't get the skin off a rice custard.
Bruno [ Master craftsman ] Apprenticed to Noah in earlier times, ...... [ before the big flood ]
Noel [ An amazing memory ] He tells us that he can remember when beer was threepence a loaf.
Geoff Q. [ Tipper ] Tips over a lot. Ear-piercer by trade. Pierces ears ... "while you wait". ..Only a buck-an-ear.
Terry [ The conductor ] Learning to paddle a kayak, by standing up, and, waving his arms about.
Stan [ Razor ] Very sharp. Can shave a sleeping mouse, ....... without waking it up.
Mike B. [ Chips ] Works mostly with computers. Likes chipping. ...chipping away at a plywood kayak.
Geoff C. [ Woodpecker ] Works in the learning woodwork industry. Likes cutting, [cutting corners].
Mike [ Fingers ] Careless with his fingers & thumbs. Should never stray too far from a first-aid box.
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Associate - Social Members [ some of these people are famous or school teachers or have written books ]
Hugh Jarce [Ex copper] ... a very tight-fit, in his kayak
Richard Head. [ Pot hole ] ... always in the road, ........ but never in the water.
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Skull Duggery Anne Tique Hec Tare Olly Ander Pam Cake S. Extant
Slip Perry Amber Dextrous Phil Thee Paul Bearer Marge Arrine Tom Orrow
Reg Atta Justin Time Don Key Pam Phlett May Hem Sam Posium
Clint Plywood Ken Garoo Barry Cade Polly Styrene Mike Robe Vi Brater
Buck Aneer Annie Moreleft Flo Tation Buck Shee Ruth Less Wal Abby
Kaye Akker C. Weed Jack Aranda Ann Glerr Sally Mander Will Power
Gerry Attrick Gill O'Tine Lance Corporal Eve Ning D. Rifter Rusty Grooves
Gerry Mander Jim Nasium Luke Warm Lee Ward Sammy Skilled Yerron Yerrone
Col Esterol Cam Ping Al Fresco Mike Rochip Miss de'Meanour Joe King
Annie Time Reg Ardless Sal Vage Sam Aritan Sara Bellum Miss Take
Memberships before the committee ; Bo Andarrow, Chris Cross, Ivor Biggin, Harry Along and Ray Strack.
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When it comes to mucking about, ...we're still recognized as the ex-spurts.
Wood-be pirates, invading this
site, now total
The tune is "Teviot Hills". ...........[press refresh to hear it again].
.........updated; 18th March, 2009. [ e-mail contact = freddo / vk2fm ] .... for the "Plywood Pirates".