Synch or Swim

Thanks to the selfless intervention of Australia's synchronised swimming team and the matchless facilities offered by Ripples at St. Marys, the confrontation between protesters and SOCOG over the beach volleyball stadium at Bondi Beach has been resolved.

Our synchronised swimmers have offered to double up on their event and play beach volleyball as well. And the bit that solves all the current problems is that they intend to play under water!

Initially it was believed that the contests could be held below the waves at Bondi and televised by underwater cameras. Since everything would be invisible above water there would be no spectators, no disruption and no problems.

Although most local residents are satisfied, there are now fresh protests from surfboard riders who would be banned in case of collisions when synchronised volleyballers pop up for air.

Complaints are still expected from Bondi anglers who claim that the fixed smiles on the faces of the competitors may spoil the fishing for months.

If the event is moved to Ripples there will be none of the ticketing controversy associated with other Olympic events.

Normal admission prices to the pool will apply at the turnstiles, and two lanes will be set aside so locals can still swim during the match.