PLOP!

Animal rights activists have their hearts in the right place but in their enthusiasm to ease the plight of battery hens they have mistaken the birds' basic need.

It isn't freedom they need – it's flight.

Chickens, like most other birds, have the ability to fly and according to Penrith Live Overhead Poultry (PLOP) their pedestrian reputation was caused by poultry farmers of yesteryear breeding stock from a rooster with acrophobia.

His offspring were afraid to fly and generations of fowls have lived dreary lives without realising that they are as gifted as eagles.

Their plump bodies, bred for the dinner table, also inhibit flight and PLOP intends to introduce a new, streamlined bird that will flit from tree to tree, adding to the beauty of your backyard and delivering your eggs by airmail.

People living in the vicinity of the new breed will need to be careful when walking in the open and will learn not to look up as the new breed flies overhead.

If not they could end up with egg on their faces.

It should lead to a boom in parasol sales.