Fish Eat Cats

The terms gardener and cat lover are often antonyms given the sort of thing that cats do to your garden at night.

You may have spoken to your neighbour about the problem only to be told, "Oh! no. My  cat wouldn't do that.

But there's no need to be frustrated any longer.

Santo Peccadillo, a Brazilian entrepreneur now living in Castlereagh, has come up with a new and environmentally-friendly way of resolving the problem.

Piranha!

For less than the cost of a good solicitor, Mr Peccadillo says he can install a fibre glass fish pond in your yard, complete with the feared carnivores.

It's cheaper if you already have a pond and you won't even have to dispose of your existing fish. The piranha will do that for you.

Cats can't resist terrorising fish ponds so you can hang out your "Cats Welcome Here"   sign and wait for the fun to begin.

And remember, you don't have to feed your piranha. They'll find their own meals.

This one really stirred up some controversy.

Jeff McGill, editor of the Penrith Star, wrote, "Every cat lover in Penrith rang to complain about the column. Where were all the goldfish lovers?"

He told me that one woman wrote a full A4 page complaining about "this lunatic who wants to put piranha in our fish ponds".

Ah well, if it's in print I guess there's always somebody who'll believe it.