Feng Shui the Aussie Way

We still have a cultural cringe in Australia.

Give something a foreign name and it takes on a whole new significance .  .  .  like feng shui.

Feng shui is an oriental method of attracting good energy into your home and repelling bad energy.

My wife Lynne has been using it for years. She just doesn't call it by that name.

Mind you, Lynne doesn't hang octagonal mirrors on the wall either; she's more practical.

She knows that if she cooks a roast people are going to come from everywhere. It smells great.

If she wants to keep them away it only takes a medium-sized Dobermann.

Attracting the kids back to the yard was no problem. She put in a swimming pool. And to send them away? Disconnect the telly.

Lynne and I always took turns with the cooking when we were on holidays and I remember once, when it was her turn at the helm, she hung a pair of my red pyjamas outside the window of our second-floor flat. You could see them for miles and it got us home tout suite.

Feng shui the Aussie way .  .  .  it's just plain old feminine know-how!