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One of Oscar Wilde's most famous plays, later made into a movie, is The Picture of Dorian Gray. As a handsome, young man Gray had his portrait painted, then made a pact with the Devil so that he might retain his good looks throughout life.

His perpetual youth was the talk of London but his excesses could plainly be seen on the face of the now hideous portrait which looked more evil with each passing year.

Fiction and Satanism to one side, Gray's story may solve an ongoing problem for today's law enforcers.

Criminals arrested by police are slapped on the wrist by ineffectual judges and sent back to the streets to re-offend. Public outrage has no effect on the procedure and criminals are aware that crime is now a low-risk enterprise. (It has even been rumoured that Work Cover will soon be offering "arrest insurance" to career criminals to assist them in obtaining the best legal representation if they are caught.)

Enter Rose Cullard, Independent candidate for Lindsay in the Federal election.

Campaigning on a platform of law-and-order Rose wants the faces of all convicted criminals tattooed with the nature and date of their crime.

In discreet 14 point script, readable from about 2m, a first offence could be covered by a Band Aid. (Well, a large Band Aid, anyway.)

Repeat offenders will have no such recourse and would end up with complexions that make Dorian Gray's portrait look almost handsome by comparison.

It wouldn't absolutely prevent such characters from appearing in public, and Rose doesn't insist that the law prevent them from covering their tattoos.

But after a few stints in jail their bandaged faces would make them look like characters from another movie—The Return of the Mummy!