Confidence Game?

Do you shrivel up at the thought of doing anything in public?

Would you like to enter a debating team but suffer such blighting self-consciousness that your most incisive thoughts come out as an incoherent mumble?

Sigmund Flapjack of the Nepean Institute has come to the rescue and you can now carry self-esteem in your pocket.

Dr Flapjack's new discovery, Egobooster, comes in a small aerosol pack and will enhance your confidence for hours at a time. Now you will have the opportunity to demand that wage rise your boss promised you last Christmas.

But be careful not to over do it.

One squirt of Egobooster will make you confident enough to state your case, two squirts could find you trying to take over the company, three squirts and you're likely to find yourself queuing for social security.

And while it won't register on the breathalyser, Dr Flapjack advises against driving after using the spray.

He warned that too much Egobooster could lead to a personality that measures 9.4 on the Richter scale.