A Crock of Gold

Crown Prince Bryan stepped from the ground shuttle and flexed his shoulders in Aldebaran's warmth as he waited for Ambassadors Chaim Berlaine of Earth and Karl Vonnasti of Hammer to follow him onto Leprech's leafy, green surface. Small, muscular, red-headed and with a cheerful smile that even now hovered near the surface, he was typical of his people.

Berlaine's eyes opened in wonder as he gazed at the waterfall that cascaded down the thirty metres of sloping rock face opposite them, depositing its precious cargo of alluvial gold in the pool at their feet.

"So this is a crock, Your Highness!" he exclaimed. "I had expected fences, security, protection. There isn't even a guard."

Bryan shrugged. "There's no point," he said. "We have so much gold on Leprech that the nuggets have no more value than so many pebbles. It's only after we export the stuff that it becomes valuable."

Vonnasti gestured peremptorily at their driver. "You there, wade in and fetch me a nugget." He spoke Galactic with a guttural accent that contrasted unpleasantly with the local brogue.

The driver glanced toward his prince, received a slight nod, and waded thigh-deep into the cold water. He returned in less than a minute with two nuggets and handed the larger to Berlaine, the smaller – itself the size of a golfball – to Vonnasti.

"Beautiful!" gloated the Hammerian as he rolled it in his hand; avarice did nothing to soften his habitual arrogance.

"Prince Bryan," Chaim Berlaine sounded puzzled, "why are you showing us this? I appreciate your hospitality but Hammer is intent on securing your wealth either by military power or by a trade agreement that, we may privately admit, is larcenous. Surely this inspection can only strengthen Ambassador Vonnasti's resolve."

Bryan smiled. "It's no secret. The ambassador knows what we have and has already decided on the outcome of the negotiations. As far as he is concerned the meetings will be a formality. Permitting him to see a crock can't do any harm."

"We will soon have whatever we want," snapped Vonnasti, unaware that the alliterated Ws, mispronounced in the Germanic style as Vs, transformed his words from threat to comedy. "There will be no discussion. Either you will sign a treaty giving us right of access to the gold or there will be war."

"You're becoming melodramatic, Ambassador. Suppose, rather, you were to sign a treaty guaranteeing not to invade our territory. What then?"

"Then," interrupted Berlaine, "Earth would support Leprech in any military confrontation and, against Earth, Hammer could not survive. But remember, Your Highness, if such a treaty is not signed we cannot become involved in a dispute between subject worlds, even where one of them is violated for so deplorable a motive as greed."

"This is in the realm of fantasy," snapped Vonnasti. "Why would I sign such a document? You Leprechauns must believe in magic."

Bryan's smile of genuine good humour astonished both men. "We have sometimes been accused of magic," he said. "Perhaps we could more reasonably lay claim to electronic wizardry."

"Indeed, Your Highness. Your matter transmitter has proved to be a boon to humankind and we of Earth acknowledge our debt. Without such a device travel would remain as inconvenient as ever.

"And yet, ironically, without the matter transmitter we would not be facing our present dilemma."

"Of course! The gold's very mass would have made it uneconomical to transport conventionally . . . the ratio of fuel to payload just isn't feasible."

The matter transmitter had made Leprech wealthy. Not only did it provide cheap transportation for exports of gold and whiskey, it had been developed by Leprechaun technology and its construction was a carefully guarded secret. Matter transmission operated by breaking down material – both organic and inorganic – to its component molecules, transmitting them as a particle wave through hyperspace, then restoring them at their destination. There was usually only momentary giddiness for people using this form of transport but occasionally problems had been experienced.

When the tour of Leprech's resources was completed, the three negotiators made their way to the departure terminal for their journey to Earth. Vonnasti was impatient, Bryan was cheerful, Berlaine was still puzzled.

Karl Vonnasti stretched contentedly as he floated naked on a cushion of warm air about a metre above the floor and watched the multi-faceted monosphere pulsating with blue-green radiance as it hovered above his chest. He knew it would have signalled his recovery as soon as he regained consciousness, and wondered dreamily what had caused him to be brought to a restoration centre.

After entering the matter transmitter on Leprech he remembered no more until he had awakened some minutes ago in a re-alignment room—a fact made obvious by the four insubstantial wall-facsimiles of pastel-coloured light which spread healing emanations throughout the room.

There was a shift in the density of the blue wall to his right and he found himself pleased to see Prince Bryan and Chaim Berlaine enter.

"My friends," he enthused, "how good to see you." He waved a hand at his surroundings. "What happened?"

Berlaine looked bewildered at the unexpected display of bon homie from the Hammerian but Bryan merely passed his hand over the monosphere, causing Vonnasti to become clothed in opaque light.

"A miscalculation, Ambassador," he said. "You passed through the tail of a comet in the outer reaches of Taurus. We believe no harm has been done. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive us."

"Pshaw!" Vonnasti swept the apology aside. "There's nothing to forgive. Accidents do happen and sometimes for the good. Truly, I have never felt better."

Berlaine controlled his astonishment. "We will, of course, allow you as much time as you need for recovery before commencing negotiations."

"There will be no need for negotiations – I see clearly that justice is on the side of the Leprechauns. They shall keep their gold."

As Berlaine and Bryan walked from the restoration centre the Earthman was puzzled. "I don't understand the change in his attitude," he said. "Vonnasti has the authority of plenipotentiary; if he signs the document Hammer will be bound."

"He will sign."

"But why? What changed his mind?"

"You and I had a normal passage from Leprech; only Vonnasti experienced anything unusual. If we didn't pass through a comet tail, why should he?"

"You arranged this?" Astonishment was a luxury in which the diplomat rarely indulged; he felt he had used more than his portion this day. "How could you predict such a result?"

"I'm afraid we took advantage of the Ambassador while he was in our care. We chose a route that would ensure his cranium became at least partially contaminated by Taurian comet dust."

Understanding engulfed Berlaine and with the understanding, laughter. When he had caught his breath he spluttered, "On Earth we would call that 'bull dust'."

"So I believe," said the other, dryly. "On Leprech we just call it blarney."