A Singular Polygamist

Some years ago I visited a square dance at Gosford, to Sydney's north, and for the first time met caller Brian Hotchkies. During our conversation I mentioned that my wives hadn't been able to come.

Brian looked startled and asked, "How many do you have?"

Fourteen," I said. Then I explained that I keep them all in one body but she's a bit strong for me if I treat her as one person so I break her up into her component parts.

Brian was quick to sort it out. He said, "She's welcome to come to the dance—it'll be $5 for you and $70 for her!"

I realised long ago that Lynne had too many facets to her personality and too many abilities ever to be thought of as just one person, especially as "just a housewife". When I added up all those gifts they were enough to make up fourteen different people.

She's a woman, a wife, a mother, a psychologist, and a chef. She's an artist, a leather worker, a gifted seamstress, a landscape gardener, and a decorator. She's a lover, a comedian, an athlete, a student, a massage therapist and a Reiki master. She's also a renovator and handy-man (handy person?) . . .

Along the way she won a state championship in triathlon, a whole batch of long-distance swimming events and was the first woman ever to complete Sydney's Twin Century (200 kms) bicycle ride. She also won prizes for leatherwork at the Penrith, Castle Hill, and Sydney Royal Easter shows.

And if that adds up to somewhat more than fourteen it still isn't enough. Every time I think she's accomplished about all she can manage in one lifetime she comes up with something new.

It must be true if the sign says so!

Wedding Anniversaries
We always enjoy an excuse to celebrate something so birthdays and Christmas are important, but our big celebration each year is our wedding anniversary. The way we see it, Christmas and birthdays were handed to us—getting married was something we did for ourselves.

Every five years we splurge a bit more and always make a point of doing something we've never done before—one year I took a week's holiday and we did something different every day, another time we had lunch under sail on Sydney harbour, mystery flights, a trip to Tasmania—all that sort of thing.

Our twenty-fifth came around while Lynne was heavily into triathlon and I asked what she would like for a gift. "A racing bike," she said. (Lynne's idea of a racing bike was a frame by Jeff Scott who built the frames for the Australian Olympic team, fitted out with Campagnolo components.) One of her friends was astonished and asked if she wouldn't rather have a microwave. "Microwave!" Lynne didn't understand the objection. She said, "How do you ride a microwave?"

She got the best of me once again on our thirtieth. When I asked about a gift she said, "If I'm really fourteen wives you'd better get me fourteen gifts." It took me ages to find them and match each one to a part of her personality.