Mind Blowing

The capacity and capability of personal computers have exploded to the point where we handle programs and files of a size that even a few years ago would have been unthinkable. So far there are no limits but computers do require a little housekeeping from time to time.

One of the things we need do is to de-fragment the hard drive fairly regularly. This consists of searching for random scraps of information and gathering them into a cohesive whole so that no time is lost while the genie in the computer is working its magic.

I've met a few square dance callers who could do with a good defrag, too. A handful of our elite callers have literally forgotten more than most of us will ever know. If they're fun to dance to now, with just the knowledge they have at their fingertips, imagine how much better if they could reach into the subconscious and extract all those long-forgotten gems from their personal data bases.

In the bad old days of the 1960s the drug culture got a shot in the arm when LSD was launched through the American college system. That's when we began to hear about mind-expanding drugs.

Mind-expanding! That's the clue.

Based on an old family recipe my grandfather was given by a gypsy, we can now defrag the brain and I'm proud to announce that Dozy's Somnambulistic eLucidator (DSL) working with a reverse LSD process, will focus the mind while you sleep.

A secret formula of fifty-seven herbs and potions, DSL can be taken at bedtime and will defrag the brain during the night, leaving the memory sharp and clear next morning.

Of course, there may be one or two teething problems.  If DSL defrags too much of your memory you may lose things you would prefer to remember – like the name of that stranger who shares your house and insists the two of you are married.

Available soon from a square dance near you. Take only as prescribed