Grey Power

Yes Prime Minister was the funniest sitcom ever to come out of British television. It might have been a bit close to the knuckle at times, but it was no less funny for that.

One night, commenting on kids graduating from the British education system, Sir Humphrey said, "They're personally well adjusted, socially aware, but they can't read, write or do sums."

Sound familiar?

It was different in our day when we actually learned useful things at school, including the now unfashionable three Rs.

I remember one primary school teacher who shouted in exasperation, "Use your grey matter, Dozy!" It was years before I found out what he meant.

Grey matter—it's the stuff of brains; unseen and, so often, unused.

Did you know that brain cells are the only cells in your body that don't reproduce themselves? It's true. But the latest research indicates that if the old cells die and you keep learning new things, you have to grow a bigger brain to fit it all in.

So the older you get, the smarter you get, and the bigger your brain grows.

Unfortunately, the cranium stays the same size as it always was, and pressure from the expanding brain cells causes some of the grey matter to ooze out.

Like perspiration.

And it stains your hair.

That's why old people go grey—because they keep getting more intelligent.

When you get too much grey matter in your hair it starts to fall out, and that's the best part of all because as Alfred, Lord Tennyson, wrote so eloquently:

Now you know why there are so many older people square dancing. With Mainstream and Plus to learn, let alone A Level, a young person just wouldn't have enough grey matter to go the distance.