Caller School

Nine callers from three states just completed a caller school with Brian Hotchkies at Casino – undoubtedly the friendliest town in Australia.

I suppose it doesn't matter if your caller is a lady but how do you feel about dancing to a guy who plays with dolls? We did that a lot at Casino.

Table-top dancers are a bit like voodoo dolls – little wooden dominos that represent a square of dancers. We move them around to check out new choreography. If you found your legs twitching and jerking while you were trying to sleep it was probably because one of us was thinking about you while we were working late.

Brian gave us a lot of short cuts for using the dolls so if your caller comes back and starts calling things like, "Turn your back on your partner," he just means "square through". If he says, "Spread the wave, move the ends to the furthest centre, and reverse the new ends," you just do a normal swing through and everything will flow along nicely.

Give us time. We'll get back to the real world.

But there was a lot of magic on the course and we learned a brand new call that will forever save callers the ignominy of admitting they messed up. In my crystal ball I can see next year's National Convention. The floor is irretrievably broken down and, inspired, the caller cries, Abracadabra! and, whammo! Everybody rushes back to their home position. It's gotta be a winner!

That wasn't the only new call. Did you know there's a standard moved called The Guillotine? Most callers prefer "Heads roll away," but you get the idea.

Wilma Flannery was there too and called a segment of contras. Everyone enjoyed it even if a few were reluctant at first. We were all, of course, receptive to square dancing but soon realised that Wilma is contra-ceptive.

To all the gang on the course, to Val, Irene, Lesley and Beverly, and to the people like Barbara, Robert, Trish, Des and the rest who came along so often to make up a practise square, thank you for a wonderful week. You were just like family. And you can breathe easily, your secrets are safe with me.

Unless I run out of ideas next month.